i'm feeling better today. i'm applying for a job called "creative maximizer." i won't get it, but i'm hoping anyway. being relaxed helped at the job - as did playing more solitaire. i think maybe i'll download a bunch of games onto a palm pilot and take that along - so i don't get too bored with the games they have there. i tried writing some, but it just doesn't work. it's like putting blue eyeshadow on a corpse - wildly out of place and doesn't make things any better. also, people were getting uncomfortable with me staring at them, trying to figure out how to describe their hair or the look in their lips.
i ate lunch in the grocery store parking lot today. in a little swath of well-kept lawn. my back was to the sun, and my toes were in the grass. everytime i looked up, though, someone was looking at me. they seemed to wonder why i would want to eat there, why i wouldn't just go home, or to the break room. while i was eating, i was composing my response to whoever might come out of the store and ask me to move. i do that a lot.. make up responses to the people that are going to yell at me. but they never do.
strangely enough, i've been carrying around a pad and paper. i've gotten some nice things. driving along the highway, i saw two construction workers on a hill. the sun glanced off of their white hard hats as they bent towards one another. they must have been discussing something mundane, like how to pour the foundation. but they looked like the ceiling of a cathedral... strong, solid, and tall. i wanted to sit down in front of them and smile, a 6-year-old with a blonde ponytail and maryjanes. i'd just look up at them and think about god, and maybe offer them a dirty flower i'd clutched since picking it from the side of the road. they wouldn't know what to say. they wouldn't know that their eyes were stained-glass windows and that the curve of their backs was the finest granite. oblivious.
dinner, shower, sleep. work tomorrow. repeat. day after tomorrow my sweetie finds out if he gets unemployment. maybe if he does i'll quit.
i'm such a spoilt brat. but that's ok.
i ate lunch in the grocery store parking lot today. in a little swath of well-kept lawn. my back was to the sun, and my toes were in the grass. everytime i looked up, though, someone was looking at me. they seemed to wonder why i would want to eat there, why i wouldn't just go home, or to the break room. while i was eating, i was composing my response to whoever might come out of the store and ask me to move. i do that a lot.. make up responses to the people that are going to yell at me. but they never do.
strangely enough, i've been carrying around a pad and paper. i've gotten some nice things. driving along the highway, i saw two construction workers on a hill. the sun glanced off of their white hard hats as they bent towards one another. they must have been discussing something mundane, like how to pour the foundation. but they looked like the ceiling of a cathedral... strong, solid, and tall. i wanted to sit down in front of them and smile, a 6-year-old with a blonde ponytail and maryjanes. i'd just look up at them and think about god, and maybe offer them a dirty flower i'd clutched since picking it from the side of the road. they wouldn't know what to say. they wouldn't know that their eyes were stained-glass windows and that the curve of their backs was the finest granite. oblivious.
dinner, shower, sleep. work tomorrow. repeat. day after tomorrow my sweetie finds out if he gets unemployment. maybe if he does i'll quit.
i'm such a spoilt brat. but that's ok.
VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
rubbersoul:
Uh...perhaps I missed it while I was away, but what kinda job is this?
darkhorse:
hey you, i never knew you became one of the SG's very cool, how are you, hope you're ok?