mei

the sky turns such an interesting color at summer twilight. the very edges turn white-blue, that color that people pain their walls when they want them to look white, but not actually be white. it's bright enough that it's hard to tell exactly what color it is at all, because there are blobs of very pastel pink and yellow and green all over, the eyes playing easter-colored tricks. and just as the sun has gone down but everything's still visible, the colors suddenly seem more real. they're no longer illuminated by the sun, so they almost begin to glow with their own inner color, before they're plunged into twilit darkness. the same thing happens at dawn. the pre-sun and the post-sun. the entire world, anticipating. that ecstatic inner light that comes from holding one's breath for too long, but bathing everything, from the gravel in the road to the fifty year old trees.

there's a package with pink bubble wrap on the floor. i've seen blue bubble wrap, and clear, but i don't think that i've ever seen pale rosy pink. it looks like it should have come with some sort of "it's a girl!" maternity package, but nobody here has had a baby.

bought black hair dye today. apparently my housemate's camera has lost its charge, though, and my other housemates who moved out accidentally stole the charger. i'll have to see if pictures are possible, but if you know me you know not to expect too much from my reports that picture will be coming soon.

i drank coffee this morning, because i was cleaning the bathroom and i didn't want to get tired and stop before i was done. but now i'm all post-coffee sleepy. it's so easy to forget that, for those without tolerances, caffeine is a potent drug, one from which you can "come down." speaking of which, i'm missing drugs right about now. i think i should find some and have a grand ol' chemical-induced hazy good time one of these days. i'll be a nutcase for a few days after, but it's often worth it, even if it is just to remind myself that yes, drugs are fun, and yes, the aftermath almost always makes the fun seem like it wasn't worth it. such an easy lesson to forget, in retrospect. or forget the import of, anyway.

my plant is growing crooked. i keep rotating it, but i's still not wanting to be straight. it's a philodendron - plants that are hard to kill are awesome. it always makes my day when i notice that it's getting a new leaf. speaking of leaves, i need to find a rototiller to borrow from someone. i want to have a garden, and it's getting pretty late to start one, but i at least want to grow some herbs. rosemary is so wonderful, tossed into a barbecue for the last few seconds of hamburger cooking.. mmmm.. rosemary-smoked tastiness.. fresh herbs make all cooking better.

my housemate nagasa made the most wonderful food last night. salad with fresh macerated raspberry vinegarette, blanched asparagus served cold with blood orange mustard sauce, and seared ahi marinated in lime, wasabi, ginger and soy. mmmmmm.. he went to cooking school for a year, and now he makes the most amazing meals. and he's single, too! ladies, if you're cute, single, and in portland, and if you asked him, i bet he'd cook you a meal you'd never forget...

i need to start vocal training again - even just informally.. my tone quality kind of sucks at this point, and i've been thinking of trying to record something with a friend this summer.

i think it's time to go. my battery's starting to die..

p.s. i found a picture of what i look like now.. major kusanagi from ghost in the shell. i don't have a camera, but she has the same haircut. i even have the sometimes black sometimes blue thing going on. neat. http://www.neomythos.com/intheshell/manga.html

*mei turns so her profile faces the audience, revealing the fairy tailed wings of a luna moth, and flaps away, tasting flowers as she goes.*