i feel quite a lot better now.. time helps. i still don't have any way to pay the bills, but oh well. i'm going to dye my hair and try dressing slightly more conservatively - once i get the job, i can settle in. i wish that it wasn't so stressful - it prevents me from effectively working on other things, even when i'm not looking for jobs. i'm worrying about money so much that i can't write or create. silly mei.
i watched people from the car window yesterday. they all looked so blank. there was a tired-looking woman with dishevelled blonde hair and unfortunate shoes. a very self-satisfied hispanic man in a white pinstriped shirt, reading the newspaper as he leaned against a telephone pole. black eyeliner and red lipstick on a coy gothy type, flirting with someone outside of powells. an older man wearing shorts and silver hair, walking with a slight limp and smiling a quiet, inward smile. but there's something about watching people that have no idea anyone would be watching them.. their eyes look so far away. person after person, somewhere else. it makes me hope that i don't look like that.
i need some breakfast. and some more novel-reading. fridays are not good days for job-hunting. no new ads.
i watched people from the car window yesterday. they all looked so blank. there was a tired-looking woman with dishevelled blonde hair and unfortunate shoes. a very self-satisfied hispanic man in a white pinstriped shirt, reading the newspaper as he leaned against a telephone pole. black eyeliner and red lipstick on a coy gothy type, flirting with someone outside of powells. an older man wearing shorts and silver hair, walking with a slight limp and smiling a quiet, inward smile. but there's something about watching people that have no idea anyone would be watching them.. their eyes look so far away. person after person, somewhere else. it makes me hope that i don't look like that.
i need some breakfast. and some more novel-reading. fridays are not good days for job-hunting. no new ads.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
toxicvixen:
worrying about money absolutely sucks. it is the root of all my stress right now.
r_dominique:
i think of people watching like this... they look distant because each one is moving in his her her own little world, thiking abou the rest oftheir life. when you see them on the street you see people in transition, to home, or work, or play, or task, the point being that it's only the barest sliver of their existence.