mei

the sun is out today.. i think that maybe finally the world is learning what time of year it is. it's late this year - usually there are some really beautiful days in mid-april - and there were some ok days, but none take-off-your-clothes-and-sit-in-the-sun warm.

i need to look up a recipe that requires mint. we have a bunch of mint growning in our front yard, and at some point i feel like i should weed some of it out.. maybe i should muddle it and mix it with gin and 7-up.. sounds pretty good...

i've been out of neurontin (one of my antidepressants) for the last few days. i can't decide if i should go get more.. i'm doing ok without it - just extra grumpy and getting very blunt with people. which isn't necessarily a bad thing; usually i try so hard to be nice that my own feelings get walked on.

i kind of keep wishing that my sweetie hadn't left the bay area. i would have missed him so much for this year, but we'd be in a much much better situation now. he'd be fulfilled (at least mostly) by his work, and he could probably get into grad-level classes with the help of his boss.. there are more publshing houses in san francisco than here, so i might be able to get a job at one of them.. but eiither way, it wouldn't be all that stressful, because we'd actually have income. my sweetie doesn't think this would be a good idea - he thinks i would have gotten too depressed.. water under the bridge, i guess, but i can't help feeling like it was a very nice opportunity, passed up. *poof*

i came up with an analogy last night that i'll share.. said that trying to debate with a particular someone is like trying to butcher a greased pig with a spoon. i thought it was pretty funny. meh. you can't introduce something like that very effectively.. have to slip it into conversation somehow.. oh well.

watching plants move in the breeze is strange. i've never completely figured it out.. i have such difficulty deciding that it's actually the air moving the branches, instead of some power inside of the tree speaking. the branches nod and wave, gesturing at whomever might watch. i feel the same way when i take a long car ride with the windows down and my hair untied. it leaps up, writhing and tangling. it suddenly takes on a life of its own, and i can watch as it hovers or waves, often twisting like that strand connecting the surface and the drain of an emptying bathtub.

my brain's not fully awake yet, i don't think.

i'll go send out some resumes - maybe that'll wake me up.

oh - and i'll study for my german final. it seems so silly and inconsequential at this point. i just don't care - but i should study anyway..