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megis

fair lawn

Member Since 2006

Followers 256 Following 227

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Friday Jun 02, 2006

Jun 2, 2006
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I kinda dont know what to say about how I am feeling right now - but this is such an unfamiliar feeling . . .

I have been with my boyfriend for a little more than 4 years, when we first started dating we were like p-nut butter & jelly things were really good and we felt so great being around each other - we moved in together after 6 months. We got along well even while we were living together we've always managed to work things out, to me it feels like I mostly managed to work it out.
I went thru some pretty heavy shit with my mom and other family members passing away. He always told me when my mom was sick to just let him know what I needed and he would be there for me - finally towards the end of her illness I asked him to come have dinner with me at her house, he ditched me.
He has apologized for it but I am obviously having an issue letting it be forgotten.
Anyway there were always some money issues too - he borrowed alot from me but would pay back a little at a time.
When everything happened with my mom i freaked on him & told him I was still upset about the money thing and it was becoming our biggest argument.
By X-mas the money issue was gone, great now everything can be even steven. Then he lost his job & had to borrow again - when he got the new job (the place he is now) he & I figured to pay back by April.
I said to my bestfriend if he doesnt by my b-day (may 15) I am going to be really upset, and if it lingers till his bday (jun 17) I was going to break up with him.

Over all he is really moody, but he loves me & would always be faithful & never hit me. I feel like we dont have much in common anymore and when I mentioned this to him he became very upset & insisted that we did. He doesnt like my best friend & sometimes treats her poorly which is something that also bothers me. He is really good in bed. But can be emotionally unresponsive (doesnt get excited when I do [school & stuff] - basic lack of showing emotion). I know that I do love him but I am not sure if this is the person I want to commit the rest of my life to, and why would i stay with him unless I was sure about that.

I dont know what to do & to be totally honest I dont know that he will be there for me when I start school and need help - AHHHHHHH!!

He is totally sure about me - says that he wants to marry me . . . I dont want to hurt him either
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
megis:
And now my boss is trying to give me a hard time about going to school & changing my shift by an hour
Jun 2, 2006
aviendha:
In the years that we have know each other I have always seen you follow your heart. You know my answer already. Look at the entire situation. I know how you feel though. as the great Ani once said "He's decided to love me for eternity, I'm still deciding who I want to be today."

Whatever choice you make will be right for you. You are faaar to level headed for a snap decision you will regret later. Just remember that you have people around you that will support you no matter what happens.

and Dave sucks. smile
Jun 2, 2006

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