The scariest thing ever, I tried to log onto SG and Iit said my account and email could not be found. I just paid for a renewal and the window popped up as if I had never been on SG in my life!! lucky I tried the refresh trick and everything popped up like it was before. WHEW!
I'm at the folks house now and its 6:08 am. I haven't been to sleep yet. so much to think about, relationship and lifestyle wise. I don't know any more. I really don't. Conjure, I've been thinking alot lately, I love Pooky56 to death, but I look at you and Kea moving to melbourne and think, 'I'm 20 for fuck sakes, just know I'll look back on this in a few years and think, wtf happened?!?! Where did my teens go?! I settled with someone and my life was over! I'm stuck in the hugest rut. I got too comfortable and I'm sure it was subconsiuos. I haven't got a job and my self esteem lvls have dropped dramatically. I've gone from a size 8 to a size 12. Don't lecture or ague about that because it matters to me.
Half of me doesn't want to let go of Pooky56, but the other half want so to be single and live my life to the full and make the most of my years. MOST of all to find myself and make sure I can look after myself before I can look after myself or anyone else as a couple. Maybe Pooky56 and myself will cross paths down the track, I hope so. Maybe wi will have the chance to be together once again. We're drifting apart and I know It's because of me. He has helped me through so much, through so much baggage, etc. I feel I need to find my own way before I can learn to travel with anyone else. I thought I was ready, but realisticly I was wishing for something that wasn't there. He helped me fullfill a void that someone had created.
I have to admit that void is not entirely fullfilled. Some of you will know who and what I am talking about. But I do feel better, a lot better. Not 100% but alot better, and I thank you for this so much. I need to find myself and I think that going to Melbourne (WEW!) aid me. It will be like a fresh start. (They say a change is as good as a holiday....)
I've been watching stargate all night and I'm a bit loopy from sleep depravation. But what I speek is the truth (To think that I actually almost spelled truth as 'trooth', lol!)
To those who took the time to read this, thank you so much. To me it just prooves that you care about me and my feelings.
Good morning, sweet dreams, and I hope you have had a good sleep in this morning
MX
I'm at the folks house now and its 6:08 am. I haven't been to sleep yet. so much to think about, relationship and lifestyle wise. I don't know any more. I really don't. Conjure, I've been thinking alot lately, I love Pooky56 to death, but I look at you and Kea moving to melbourne and think, 'I'm 20 for fuck sakes, just know I'll look back on this in a few years and think, wtf happened?!?! Where did my teens go?! I settled with someone and my life was over! I'm stuck in the hugest rut. I got too comfortable and I'm sure it was subconsiuos. I haven't got a job and my self esteem lvls have dropped dramatically. I've gone from a size 8 to a size 12. Don't lecture or ague about that because it matters to me.
Half of me doesn't want to let go of Pooky56, but the other half want so to be single and live my life to the full and make the most of my years. MOST of all to find myself and make sure I can look after myself before I can look after myself or anyone else as a couple. Maybe Pooky56 and myself will cross paths down the track, I hope so. Maybe wi will have the chance to be together once again. We're drifting apart and I know It's because of me. He has helped me through so much, through so much baggage, etc. I feel I need to find my own way before I can learn to travel with anyone else. I thought I was ready, but realisticly I was wishing for something that wasn't there. He helped me fullfill a void that someone had created.
I have to admit that void is not entirely fullfilled. Some of you will know who and what I am talking about. But I do feel better, a lot better. Not 100% but alot better, and I thank you for this so much. I need to find myself and I think that going to Melbourne (WEW!) aid me. It will be like a fresh start. (They say a change is as good as a holiday....)
I've been watching stargate all night and I'm a bit loopy from sleep depravation. But what I speek is the truth (To think that I actually almost spelled truth as 'trooth', lol!)
To those who took the time to read this, thank you so much. To me it just prooves that you care about me and my feelings.
Good morning, sweet dreams, and I hope you have had a good sleep in this morning
MX
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
Change has to be progressive, thought through - And taken head on as often as you feel the need. Chin up, tits out, and follow your heart!
xxxxxx