a response to rainwolfkin's rhetorical, yet hopeful, questions...(since i'm too lazy to type anything for my journal):
__________________________________________________
satisfaction comes in brief moments, i believe. i don't think it's really possible to make it a state of being, so it's not something from within which you can become stagnant.
i think that when you're truly living in the moment - breathing cold air, smoking pot & playing cards, running from the police, blinking at the ocean, getting a tattoo, laughing at something fucked up & wonderful with a close friend, smiling at a stranger because you feel like it even if s/he doesn't smile back - experiencing life as it is, raw & unbearably beautiful & excruciating all at once...that's satisfaction. rare. fleeting. but all we can ever know of the intangible concept of "reality". they are the moments so easily forgotten. a feeling is all that remains of satisfaction, which keeps us on our quest for more. passion for experiencing & loving/hating all of it -- duality & contradiction, similarities, changes, all of it.
__________________________________________________
curiosity is the only thing that keeps me alive most days.
__________________________________________________
satisfaction comes in brief moments, i believe. i don't think it's really possible to make it a state of being, so it's not something from within which you can become stagnant.
i think that when you're truly living in the moment - breathing cold air, smoking pot & playing cards, running from the police, blinking at the ocean, getting a tattoo, laughing at something fucked up & wonderful with a close friend, smiling at a stranger because you feel like it even if s/he doesn't smile back - experiencing life as it is, raw & unbearably beautiful & excruciating all at once...that's satisfaction. rare. fleeting. but all we can ever know of the intangible concept of "reality". they are the moments so easily forgotten. a feeling is all that remains of satisfaction, which keeps us on our quest for more. passion for experiencing & loving/hating all of it -- duality & contradiction, similarities, changes, all of it.
__________________________________________________
curiosity is the only thing that keeps me alive most days.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
curiosity is the only thing that keeps me alive most days
me too. and its the type of curiousity that just won't let me sleep at night. crawls under the skin and made a permanent home for itself, nestling somewhere close to my pituitary gland.
why is it that your words always hit dead centre. i certainly value everything everyone else has to say, but they always hit the periphery. that's fine, gives me new perspectives - on how to view things in my life, but also insight into theirs. but your words are just like my own. ...still - after all these years.
how do you do it? it must be another of your superhero powers. i do love you.
thankyou for the beautiful journal entry.
I'm searching for satisfaction but not letting myself have it.
I'm so tired of running in endless cycles.. circles.. all just to please someone...