i got out of chattanooga by putting a rental car on my credit card. when i go back next week to pick jeremy up from the airport, i'll drop off the rental car & hope that Lulu is fixed...the insurance bullshit probably won't be sorted out yet, so i'm sure i'll have to pay the $500 deductible for fixing the cheap plastic bumper. whatever. maybe someday i'll be reimbursed for the rental car & the $500. i wish i could get some for my pain & suffering. this shit really kicked up my anxiety/panic disorder. i can't sleep at night again. & my stomach won't stop balling up its fist & spinning around its fast ball.
i'm feeling a little better, though, for any who may have been concerned.
it doesn't look so good for jeremy & i. i think he's changed his mind or isn't over his ex. or just decided he really doesn't like me much. i'm sad about it, but more numb than that. whatever. again. maybe he'll tell me what his distance & grump is all about soon. or not. i am trying not to care. caring brings suffering, i find.
life keeps moving. my raft only has a few leaks. all will be well again at some point. & then it won't. & then it will....
i'm feeling a little better, though, for any who may have been concerned.
it doesn't look so good for jeremy & i. i think he's changed his mind or isn't over his ex. or just decided he really doesn't like me much. i'm sad about it, but more numb than that. whatever. again. maybe he'll tell me what his distance & grump is all about soon. or not. i am trying not to care. caring brings suffering, i find.
life keeps moving. my raft only has a few leaks. all will be well again at some point. & then it won't. & then it will....
i wish you could take a holiday for your birthday.