medusaq

i found some blow & a connection promising future supplies with no end in sight. yay for me & my charismatic ways of broadening my social circles, often leading me to endless supplies of mind/body altering substances. & friends.

so, i hung out with that boy again.

i like him more, i like him less. i don't have any idea what i want. but, it's okay because neither does he. i know that we both want to be friends, at least. & we both want to fuck each other.

...the thing is, he has another entanglement &, while he expresses plenty of interest in me & we have great sexual intensity, i will not sleep with him because i don't want any possible drama -- from me, from him, from her. i also would prefer to avoid disease or apathy.

so i'll wait. i'll try to exercise that elusive thing called patience. i'll see what happens. i'll be his friend & tease his cock until one of us knows enough about what we want. so i can decide to stay or go. so i can decide whether i will allow anything more than play, whether i should continue to play it safe. whether i want to put anything on the line.

& whether he's even worth it.

"...supplies are endless in the evening by the morning they'll be gone

when everything is lonely i can be my own best friend

get a coffee and the paper have my own conversations

with the sidewalk and the pigeons and my window reflection

the mask i polish in the evening by the morning looks like shit

and i know you have a heavy heart

i can feel it when we kiss

and many men stronger than me have thrown their backs out trying to lift it

but me i'm not a gamble you can count on me to split

the love i sell you in the evening by the morning won't exist...

well it takes one to know one kid i think you've got it bad

but whats so easy in the evening by the morning's such a drag

i've got a flask inside my pocket we can share it on the train

and if you promise to stay conscious i will try and do the same

yeah we might die from medication but we sure killed all the pain

but what was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane

and i'm not sure what the trouble was that started all of this

the reasons all have run away but the feeling never did

not something i would recommend but it is one way to live

cause what is simple in the moonlight by the morning never is

yeah it was simple in the moonlight now its so complicated

it was so simple in the moonlight,

so simple in the moonlight,

so simple in the moonlight"

Lua, Bright Eyes