mediocrekat

I wonder why am I so content with masturbating in the shower, then spending time loofing about the house in a towel, on and off watching TV? Toss in some email checking and a bit of chatting, nightly dishes, laundry and bed check... woo Am I boring?

I mean, I like reading but do I do it enough to consider it a hobby? I like music, but I'm not the master like all the effing people around me seem to be. I clean a lot but I don't know if it matters if no one else notices... and I don't know if that makes me interesting or just well trained to be a mother/grilfriend. (which doesn't matter if no one is interested enough in the first place) I have a job, but everyone should have a job. Am I going around thinking people should just like me for showing up? (or am I just watching too much TV and letting books written by women affect my brain) I'm thinking too much again, and it's not like I'm thinking too much about a guy... I've seen that, I can figure that out. Caring too much or too little about someone ELSE smudging up my life- but, this is me smudging it up, or not having one at all. Shit.


I just wonder, is it wrong to be so calm about being alone? My roommate says he worries about me being home so much, or me being home alone when he goes places... but it doesn't bother me so much as I guess it would normal people? That last person I hung out with I did something sexual with. Which, I don't have a problem with... I guess I'm just putting it up on the board incase eventually it means something.


I don't suppose I want to be alone FOREVER... I just am particular about the company I keep... and I don't meet many people in my line of work that I'd like to hang about with. (Besides, working in a porn store, and making friends usually means someone wants to fuck someone in that equation)