Well today I faced down a demon, well not a real one, but I had to deal with my ex. This is the one that after 11 years told me she didn't trust me or for that matter doesn't think that she did for the whole time we were together. Yeah that's right. My most humbling moment.
So why did I deal with the woman that managed to take 11 years my military career, and all my money trying to get her bi-polar disorder diagnosed and treated? I can be a nice guy most of the time. I got my son a new television for Christmas. Tara (the ex) had given him one years ago but it was an old CRT television energy inefficient all the old tech. The television was hers so before I took it to the electronics recycling centre I decided I should find out what she wanted to do with it.
Now it's not as though I expected her to even answer the phone, I honestly figured I would get the machine leave a message and not hear back and then recycle it after a week. I didn't expect her to answer the phone because at her nieces first birthday party (the cutie pie in my last blog) I wasn't exactly cordial to her when she attempted to speak with me alone and ask me to coffee.
She left me in July, this was October. Sure I shouldn't have held a grudge I could have been the bigger person and said no in a nice way, but I was still hurt, and she hadn't made things easy the first month, stalking me on Facebook, leaving angry messages when she saw check in's with friends that happened to be female so I was rude and just rejected the idea in as direct and harsh a way I could.
Now not only did she answer the phone but she was glad I called and wanted the TV back. I was shocked, I knew she didn't have room for it she moved home to her mother's place, and had a TV and limited space. So a 7 minute conversation and I agreed to bring it by today dispite the shitty weather that closed schools.
Can you tell I just wanted to get it over and done with?
Well it's a heavy TV, 45kg large and awkward to carry but I got it from the house to the car from the car to the house without dropping it or falling on the ice. Once it was safely stored in a pile of junk that neither she or her mother needed I attempted to make my way out. Not that I was uncomfortable. Shortly after the birthday party I hooked up with a wonderful woman that did wonders to my confidence and ego. What's the old saying? "The fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone else?"
So the coffee invitation was extended again, rather than be an ass this time I accepted. Rather than having it where she would be comfortable (her home) I agreed on the condition that we go to a near by Tim Hortons. This way I could have a small advantage, she would be more uncofortable out of her home, and she wouldn't make a huge scene or she just may have had to walk in bad weather home.
The coffee went well enough, she told me of progress she was making in getting out and about, actually took a trip to Acron Ohio with her AA group to see the founders home and such, this was impressive because she never travels more than 10 minutes from her home.
One thing was clear though. She wasn't over me.
After the coffee was over I was trying to leave, she needed a favour. Her surround sound system had been disassembled to be put into a new entertainment unit but she didn't know how to put it back together. Fine I am a techy kind of guy, and I have been feeling like an ass for some things I've considered doing lately so lets get some good karma.
How do I know she isn't over me? She kept finding things to show me, things I left, (clearly didn't need them or I would have gone back for them earlier) She even found an old laptop from my first tour in college over 10 years ago. So trying to keep me around? Yep, hugs that lasted just a little to long, and then oh lets pat your back this is a 'bro' hug.
So what should have ened shortly after noon, lasted until about 2:30pm. Then a text message to my phone thanking me. Yeah, an awkward afternoon that I have a feeling won't end soon. A nice gesture may just get turned into drama that I've been trying to avoid since she decided we were done.
So why did I deal with the woman that managed to take 11 years my military career, and all my money trying to get her bi-polar disorder diagnosed and treated? I can be a nice guy most of the time. I got my son a new television for Christmas. Tara (the ex) had given him one years ago but it was an old CRT television energy inefficient all the old tech. The television was hers so before I took it to the electronics recycling centre I decided I should find out what she wanted to do with it.
Now it's not as though I expected her to even answer the phone, I honestly figured I would get the machine leave a message and not hear back and then recycle it after a week. I didn't expect her to answer the phone because at her nieces first birthday party (the cutie pie in my last blog) I wasn't exactly cordial to her when she attempted to speak with me alone and ask me to coffee.
She left me in July, this was October. Sure I shouldn't have held a grudge I could have been the bigger person and said no in a nice way, but I was still hurt, and she hadn't made things easy the first month, stalking me on Facebook, leaving angry messages when she saw check in's with friends that happened to be female so I was rude and just rejected the idea in as direct and harsh a way I could.
Now not only did she answer the phone but she was glad I called and wanted the TV back. I was shocked, I knew she didn't have room for it she moved home to her mother's place, and had a TV and limited space. So a 7 minute conversation and I agreed to bring it by today dispite the shitty weather that closed schools.
Can you tell I just wanted to get it over and done with?
Well it's a heavy TV, 45kg large and awkward to carry but I got it from the house to the car from the car to the house without dropping it or falling on the ice. Once it was safely stored in a pile of junk that neither she or her mother needed I attempted to make my way out. Not that I was uncomfortable. Shortly after the birthday party I hooked up with a wonderful woman that did wonders to my confidence and ego. What's the old saying? "The fastest way to get over someone is to get under someone else?"
So the coffee invitation was extended again, rather than be an ass this time I accepted. Rather than having it where she would be comfortable (her home) I agreed on the condition that we go to a near by Tim Hortons. This way I could have a small advantage, she would be more uncofortable out of her home, and she wouldn't make a huge scene or she just may have had to walk in bad weather home.
The coffee went well enough, she told me of progress she was making in getting out and about, actually took a trip to Acron Ohio with her AA group to see the founders home and such, this was impressive because she never travels more than 10 minutes from her home.
One thing was clear though. She wasn't over me.
After the coffee was over I was trying to leave, she needed a favour. Her surround sound system had been disassembled to be put into a new entertainment unit but she didn't know how to put it back together. Fine I am a techy kind of guy, and I have been feeling like an ass for some things I've considered doing lately so lets get some good karma.
How do I know she isn't over me? She kept finding things to show me, things I left, (clearly didn't need them or I would have gone back for them earlier) She even found an old laptop from my first tour in college over 10 years ago. So trying to keep me around? Yep, hugs that lasted just a little to long, and then oh lets pat your back this is a 'bro' hug.
So what should have ened shortly after noon, lasted until about 2:30pm. Then a text message to my phone thanking me. Yeah, an awkward afternoon that I have a feeling won't end soon. A nice gesture may just get turned into drama that I've been trying to avoid since she decided we were done.
imaxtoy:
Bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder sometimes get confused because of the mood dysregulation in Boderline PD. What's the difference? Medication works in a person with true Bipolar disorder. If not, then it's highly suspicious it's a personality disorder, borderline flavor...