mechanic

blissful. jittery. too much. not enough.
eyes open. waiting. liking what Suiciety
wrote in his journal.

tonight i'll go see "Night on Earth"...
it's playing at the "Cinemateque".
i'm such a movie whore. but I don't care
that movie is amazing. Lately I'm thinking
more and more about the future. what's gonna
happen, what should I do, whom should I be...
those moments of total panic, thinking
that time is passing me by and I'm not doing
enough to catch it... there's so many things
I want to do, so many places to visit.
i'm thinking of starting to do photography
again... my 2 and a 1/4 camera is just sitting
there... That's one of those few forms of art
that I can't grasp yet... every time I shoot something
i really don't like it... it looks stupid,
overdone, and ignorant... not like paining, where
you can actually create from inside out,
you have to do things from the outside in...
taking images that make sense and carry some
kind of intellectual meaning, concept or that are
just beautiful on their own. seeing form
without making form... for some reason that is
really difficult for me...