I think when one endures and survives so much loss and trial in such a short span, there is a weight that is carried. Although life isn't joyless, there is still a monkey on my back.When I am able to let it go, trust and invite people into my life, my struggles, I can make room for other, better things. Sometimes I'm judged or it is used against me, but also it can help to find some relief. Maybe I'm too blunt, or there is not enough mystery surrounding my inner workings. But I'm ok with that, because in 20 brief years, I feel like I've had enough darkness and hurt to last a lifetime. I don't want to live with all of it alone, where I found ways to forget in much more destructive forms of distraction. Hope to find more people who understand why I choose to live as a "open book", and find a little bit more warmth.
saraberri:
you're just sifting through the unworthy ones faster. continue to be up front of you want - the true ones will stick around. not too many of those in life. 