I really dont like the beach, much to the shock and consternation of my southern California peers (where I currently reside). Sure a lot of it has to do with body insecurities that push up to the surface in situations where I may need to take my shirt off. But this is not the whole story. Like so much of what makes us what we are, the things that happened to us while our personalities were still congealing and cooling leave a pretty visible impression.
I grew up in Oregon and then Northern California. North enough that the beach was usually uncomfortable at best. I never viewed the beach as a park at the edge of the water, but simply the edge of the world. A windy, sunless, indifferent infinity. The water curving upward meeting the sky in seamless gray. I imagined it raining miles offshore where theres nothing. Nothing for the rain to land on. Just the sky and the sea coming closer together with no one to see.
The oceans immensity always forces me to confront my life and scrutinize its failures and dashed hopes. Even when I was in Maui, the beach pushed me against my self, my past, and my uncertain future.
In high school, instead of going to prom, me and a girl went to the beach. It was in May but it still rained hard on us. We kissed and caressed desperately on the dunes and the ocean did not care.
You might guess that things have not improved much.
I grew up in Oregon and then Northern California. North enough that the beach was usually uncomfortable at best. I never viewed the beach as a park at the edge of the water, but simply the edge of the world. A windy, sunless, indifferent infinity. The water curving upward meeting the sky in seamless gray. I imagined it raining miles offshore where theres nothing. Nothing for the rain to land on. Just the sky and the sea coming closer together with no one to see.
The oceans immensity always forces me to confront my life and scrutinize its failures and dashed hopes. Even when I was in Maui, the beach pushed me against my self, my past, and my uncertain future.
In high school, instead of going to prom, me and a girl went to the beach. It was in May but it still rained hard on us. We kissed and caressed desperately on the dunes and the ocean did not care.
You might guess that things have not improved much.
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We're all about the metric system up here, but some aspects never caught on... like I can tell you how much I weigh in pounds (but not kilograms) or how tall I am in inches and feet (but not centimetres). It's also still called "a quater-pounder w/cheese", not a "royal w/cheese".