mazarinefv

New Year's Day at about two in the morning my mother-in-law's house burned to the ground. Living there was her, her common-law husband and her other son. They don't call us until later that evening. Somewhere around seven in the evening. Shelia and Troy are staying in an extended stay hotel. Jon Paul, the brother, is staying with us. He is an alcoholic. I've been around plenty of drunks considering my last job, growing up, etc. I've been friends or closely involved with numerous drug addicts. There's not much of a difference. That doesn't mean I'm any more prepared for this.

After my last encounter with addiction, (my own), I thought that would be the last I would see of it. New job, new family, new friends, new dreams ... nothing can be a wall to the outside forces. I'm lost, my husband is lost, we don't know what to do but love him and maybe show him through example another life. My last addict, I fell in love with him. I'm not sure what he was addicted to ... that's the funny part. Was he a coke head? An alcoholic? Abusive? I don't know for sure. Text book he fit it all, and I loved him none the less. The play list switches to Mutilated Lips by Ween and I feel heartsick. Jon Paul is family and within the circle of love, and close enough to hurt. But who would turn their back?

This is all coming from someone who has turned her back on bother her mother and uncle. My only defense is that after twenty-six years one should realize that they won't change if they hadn't thus far. To continue on would be to take responsibility for every hurt they lay on you. Is there a difference? Randy isn't ready to give up and from my end it's only just begun. I'll give someone every chance in the world and let them wound me as often as they need until they interfere with three areas of my life. My family, my friends and my work. These are the three things I depend on to stay on the straight and narrow. I'll go on later.