In many ways this past week has been one of the most beautiful. Falling in love all over again with the man I'm married to, (yes, you can be in love and fall in love again with the same person ... I thought it was weird, too.) I've been cleaning like a mad woman and sending out resumes in the same manic fashion. Progress has been made in almost every area of my life. The longer I'm on this road to reinventing myself the more of the old me I'm finding, and I like her very much. That's what I missed the most in the last chapter of my life. I worked so very hard to get to a point where I could and did love and like myself, and I lost it for a while there. It's amazing how thoroughly that can weigh one down and how easily the cause can be completely overlooked.
My nose has been clean for two weeks now, my phone was clean of that chapter for one whole week and that made all the difference in the world. Yesterday was the first real challenge if you don't count the number of invitations on my vm to 'party.' Though it was difficult to not call back and say 'yes! I'll be right there with a straw and bells!' it wasn't as difficult as hearing from anyone that works at the old job. More importantly hearing the name of the person who has caused the most hell in my life, (besides myself, of course.) Happy, flighty, whimsical Lisa flew out the door and tranformed into the biggest sour puss of them all. Doesn't sound very serious when put that way, so let's try this. I became angry, bitter and bitchy in a matter of minutes. My body became heavy and tense, random jumps of adreinalin kept me from sitting still and Cupid felt all of it.
In an attempt to make me feel better Cupid spent the better part of the day attempting to hold my attention. While I was trying to mop he was right there under me, whining at me, pawing at me, licking me ... I think he was trying to figure out how to heal me. I realize what he was trying to do now, but then I just wanted to be left alone and the last thing I could do was leave the house. I've noticed that when I want to leave is usually when I want to do something I shouldn't. So I lock myself in the house and try to stay busy. It all worked against itself.
Either way, I'm better now. Dinner with friends and a funny movie does wonders. Poor Randy got a bit of a hit of it, thankfully it was only a couple of minutes worth as everything worked out. The only thing I'm waiting on is the opportunity to surgically remove any other tentacles that may be hanging on. Those emotions and memories that harm, left-overs from a five month mistake.
My nose has been clean for two weeks now, my phone was clean of that chapter for one whole week and that made all the difference in the world. Yesterday was the first real challenge if you don't count the number of invitations on my vm to 'party.' Though it was difficult to not call back and say 'yes! I'll be right there with a straw and bells!' it wasn't as difficult as hearing from anyone that works at the old job. More importantly hearing the name of the person who has caused the most hell in my life, (besides myself, of course.) Happy, flighty, whimsical Lisa flew out the door and tranformed into the biggest sour puss of them all. Doesn't sound very serious when put that way, so let's try this. I became angry, bitter and bitchy in a matter of minutes. My body became heavy and tense, random jumps of adreinalin kept me from sitting still and Cupid felt all of it.
In an attempt to make me feel better Cupid spent the better part of the day attempting to hold my attention. While I was trying to mop he was right there under me, whining at me, pawing at me, licking me ... I think he was trying to figure out how to heal me. I realize what he was trying to do now, but then I just wanted to be left alone and the last thing I could do was leave the house. I've noticed that when I want to leave is usually when I want to do something I shouldn't. So I lock myself in the house and try to stay busy. It all worked against itself.
Either way, I'm better now. Dinner with friends and a funny movie does wonders. Poor Randy got a bit of a hit of it, thankfully it was only a couple of minutes worth as everything worked out. The only thing I'm waiting on is the opportunity to surgically remove any other tentacles that may be hanging on. Those emotions and memories that harm, left-overs from a five month mistake.