mayvis

Tis the season and all that jazz. Meh.

Growing up in one of the very few, if not only Jewish families in my neighborhood, I learned to take this season worth a grain of salt. When all the other kids were showing off their toys that could somewhat maim, I became the negative nancy of the group. with lines along "Your new bike is cool, well until someone steals it from your shed or at school", "OOOh, you've got something else that can break a window, or hit the cross-eed mutt that lives down the street in the head with. I see a few police reports in your future."

Now some may see this as jealously, but I beg to differ- I already was labeled a scrooge by a teacher's assistant in kindergarten when her little shit of a son refused to share the paste and called me stupid. My response was to say "Oh yeah there is no Santa Claus!" which caused him to cry for a half hour, thus allowing me to use the paste so I could finish my snowflake (which makes me wonder why they had kids who were growing up in Florida-except for the one girl who split her time between florida and Norway- make snowflakes, something that us kids would never see in real life.)

Thus my attitude developed to when I was 18 + and found drinking in a bar(open bar parties for the staff and bar flys are awesome btw) with a santa hat on led to many a night of drunken holiday sex. So I worked that for a while, but quickly grew tired of it.

Nowadays, I model myself as a poor man's scrooge. This holiday just annoys the shit out of me, and can't wait for it to be done, and everyone can assume their normal, boring lives once again. Because if I have to hear one more of those bell ringers, I may just snap......