thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes. i had a nice birthday with kat. we ate a lot, there was cookie cake and sin city, and kat loaded me up with books, dvds, and new albums.
our house smells like a shitbomb exploded. there are huge puppies everywhere and three weeks to go. i'm very attached and the only thing i won't be sad to see (or smell) go is the stench.
i've been reminiscing about relationships (as usual) for the past hour or so. the nature of love and attachment. love with and without sex. love/relationships as a timeline for the evolution or devolution of a person. love love love and regret. love on a continuum.
shit, i may as well be high. this is what happens if you leave me alone for too long.
dreams make me question reality, the way i float in and out of consciousness involuntarily sometimes. depending on how tired i am, i fall almost instantly into a rem cycle and these dreams fuck with my head.
i finished reading night by elie weisel earlier this evening. there is this passage that was really powerful to me, but i feel like it would be arrogant/ignorant (who am i to speak for the kind of suffering millions of people had to endure?) to post it anywhere but in a journal, even though i want to tape it to people's faces and write it on walls. here it is:
"Blessed be the name of the Eternal!"
Why, but why should I bless Him? In every fiber I rebelled. Because He had had thousands of children burned in His pits? Because He kept six crematories working night and day, on Sundays and feast days? Because in His great might He had created Auschwitz, Birkenau, Buna, and so many factories of death? How could I say to Him: "Blessed art Thou, Eternal, Master of the Universe, Who chose us from the races to be tortured day and night, to see our fathers, our mothers, our brothers, end in the crematory? Praised be Thy Holy Name, Thou Who hast chosen us to be butchered on Thine altar?"
eh. there it is. i feel like some of these thoughts should go no farther than my paper journal, but then they're probably the only things that make this journal interesting anyway.
our house smells like a shitbomb exploded. there are huge puppies everywhere and three weeks to go. i'm very attached and the only thing i won't be sad to see (or smell) go is the stench.
i've been reminiscing about relationships (as usual) for the past hour or so. the nature of love and attachment. love with and without sex. love/relationships as a timeline for the evolution or devolution of a person. love love love and regret. love on a continuum.
shit, i may as well be high. this is what happens if you leave me alone for too long.
dreams make me question reality, the way i float in and out of consciousness involuntarily sometimes. depending on how tired i am, i fall almost instantly into a rem cycle and these dreams fuck with my head.
i finished reading night by elie weisel earlier this evening. there is this passage that was really powerful to me, but i feel like it would be arrogant/ignorant (who am i to speak for the kind of suffering millions of people had to endure?) to post it anywhere but in a journal, even though i want to tape it to people's faces and write it on walls. here it is:
"Blessed be the name of the Eternal!"
Why, but why should I bless Him? In every fiber I rebelled. Because He had had thousands of children burned in His pits? Because He kept six crematories working night and day, on Sundays and feast days? Because in His great might He had created Auschwitz, Birkenau, Buna, and so many factories of death? How could I say to Him: "Blessed art Thou, Eternal, Master of the Universe, Who chose us from the races to be tortured day and night, to see our fathers, our mothers, our brothers, end in the crematory? Praised be Thy Holy Name, Thou Who hast chosen us to be butchered on Thine altar?"
eh. there it is. i feel like some of these thoughts should go no farther than my paper journal, but then they're probably the only things that make this journal interesting anyway.
aj_paradiselost:
All Sarcasm aside, that was pretty intense doll, I'm being serious for once.......Go figure.......L8er......Aj