leaving me alone with myself is nearly always a bad option. sometimes if there's no one around to bring me up, i wallow. which is precisely what i'm doing currently.
i'm having this issue with being so terribly overwhelmed. i graduate in seven months. i'll have a useless bachelor's degree and the only way for me to get a job in the field of my choice is to go further with my education, which is the plan; however, i don't feel i'm a qualified enough candidate for an MA program at this point. the gre has me petrified, my gpa is less than optimal, and i've moved around so much and been to so many different institutions that i haven't had a chance to work extensively with faculty members which, in a nutshell, means i'm fucked.
i mean, i have connections here at ETSU that i didn't have anywhere else, but i don't know if they'll be enough. i know that if i get an interview, i'll be fine. i know they want diversity in their program, which is where i can kind of play on my sexuality. i know i've got the right personality for a job in the clinical field. the problem is that i can't convey any of this on paper and that's going to hurt my chances.
i'm thinking that maybe i should take a couple of months off from school after i graduate. that will give me plenty of time to put together a personal essay and a curriculum vitae that aren't pulled from my ass in a matter of days. that will give me time to gain experience at the crisis center and possibly get myself a part-time job as a psych. tech. at woodridge-- at least then i'll have experience in the field. and by that point i'll have a good bit of research experience, as well.
okay, so i'm obsessing. maybe i look better than i think i do, but i'm such a fucking perfectionist that rejection isn't an option for me. it's not that it'll bring me down, it's just that i know damn well that i'm better than that.
ha, i'm so arrogant.
EDIT, 8:17pm: I FUCKING GOT ACCEPTED! now i just have to shoot the most fabulous set on the planet.
i'm having this issue with being so terribly overwhelmed. i graduate in seven months. i'll have a useless bachelor's degree and the only way for me to get a job in the field of my choice is to go further with my education, which is the plan; however, i don't feel i'm a qualified enough candidate for an MA program at this point. the gre has me petrified, my gpa is less than optimal, and i've moved around so much and been to so many different institutions that i haven't had a chance to work extensively with faculty members which, in a nutshell, means i'm fucked.
i mean, i have connections here at ETSU that i didn't have anywhere else, but i don't know if they'll be enough. i know that if i get an interview, i'll be fine. i know they want diversity in their program, which is where i can kind of play on my sexuality. i know i've got the right personality for a job in the clinical field. the problem is that i can't convey any of this on paper and that's going to hurt my chances.
i'm thinking that maybe i should take a couple of months off from school after i graduate. that will give me plenty of time to put together a personal essay and a curriculum vitae that aren't pulled from my ass in a matter of days. that will give me time to gain experience at the crisis center and possibly get myself a part-time job as a psych. tech. at woodridge-- at least then i'll have experience in the field. and by that point i'll have a good bit of research experience, as well.
okay, so i'm obsessing. maybe i look better than i think i do, but i'm such a fucking perfectionist that rejection isn't an option for me. it's not that it'll bring me down, it's just that i know damn well that i'm better than that.
ha, i'm so arrogant.
EDIT, 8:17pm: I FUCKING GOT ACCEPTED! now i just have to shoot the most fabulous set on the planet.
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xoxox