mayarix

with the rapidity with which the good times pass into memory, it is so much more important to find a trigger to recall them quickly.

our society is such that we live for the highs, then fall asleep and crawl through the lows. my shoot was just yesterday. it feels like last month's triumphant memory.

that would be partly due to someone (NO ONE IN THIS SITE) telling me that SG would be indeed lowering their standards if they let me be a suicide girl. rude, i know. i shouldn't pay attention, i also know.

but somehow, i know they that might be right. it's just fun to dream once in a while. too bad the horrible reality of it all comes back too suddenly; and twice as painful.

it seems that momentarily we break free of the daggers, the swords that hold us fast and soar for a brief moment... then we scream in protest when they return to their slashing, stabbing, and tearing at the fabric of our being. and soon we are silent; a bloody mass once more. just like the rest of the world.

however in the back of our tortured minds, we think, "I actually flew..". and that tides us over slightly, allows us to struggle ever harder to break free of the swords upon which we are forcibly impaled, lets us beat our lifeless wings harder until they are nothing but tattered feathers... fallen angel, where do you go now?

to dream of death that flies on the wings of a raven, sweet freedom. and all that's required is the cost of one soul.

"ticket to ride, please."

oh well, we'll see what happens. either way, i just remember; i did this for me. and there are plenty of people who support me in it, whether i get a title with it or not.

and on top of it all, WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I LET SOME IDIOT TWAT get me down and take away one of the most fun memories I've had in a long time? Fuck that shit! I am me, I am beautiful as is, and anyone that says otherwise can BITE ME. I dont' give a crap if they are random onlookers or SG staff.. I. FUCKING. LOVE. ME. ♥ ♥

God that was just such a fun time shooting my set.