mayarix

Don't know what to put here, really. It's a blurb, so I suppose I can put whatever the hell I want. You know, I'm really f-in tired. Of a lot of things. I have been in a crappy mood all night due to several things really. Missing the company of a certain someone and then being distanced by another certain someone. I totally am not feeling the love.

I'm angry. Not at anyone in particular. I'm angry at my situation. The more I try to have fun, the more I try to hook up with people, the more I try to advance at work, the more sick and tired I become of it all. It really is a rat-race. And I'm the rat that keeps running into dead ends. Everywhere.

I went out tonight. Hung with a few people from work, but wasn't really into it. I'm sorry about that to those I was a bore to be around. I have major weirdness going on upstairs and am feeling just emotionally desolate. Hah. What's new? I just need to stop caring... period. Stop caring and never get hurt. Now if only I could stop being attracted to the wrong people. That would be another great place to start. Let's face it. Everyone in their 30's is jaded, damaged, and not looking to be with anyone. I love playing around, but deep down? I wouldn't mind finding someone. I skipped the whole "let's have a relationship" thing in my 20's for reasons I'll not disclose, and now that I'm ready, everyone else is ready to end it. That's the real reason that I don't look for anything, k? Now you all know. Is there anything wrong with wanting company now and again? I realize more and more why women my age are looking for younger men. They want someone who isn't damaged and who isn't going to damage them; or at least someone who has a lesser likelihood of damaging them.