Improving myself is a constant battle. I want to change both the inside and the outside to match who I feel I really am and to regain the positive aspects of who I once was.
It is difficult to unlearn.
Lucky me, Jason sticks with me. He is my ultimate source of support, love, affection and all things fantastic, sexy and mushy.
My oldest brother committed himself to the mental hospital last week. Thank goodness. He was having some delusions, paranoid and saying some crazy stuff I guess.
He's been messed up and got discharged from the Marines about a year ago on disability for his mental state. However, they were having a hard time diagnosing him beyond his PTSD and antisocial disorder.
This time they have finally concluded that he is schizophrenic.
This is the third person in my blood family that is schizophrenic. I must admit it's a scary thing.
He's on some meds now, he has been released and has follow up appointments that my sister will be taking him to.
I've learned all this via my sister. My brother and I don't talk and have a rough history. He's done some terrible things to me that he can't even remember doing. I'm still hurt but it's hard to make him be accountable when he doesn't remember and I know that his mental condition wasn't in his hands.
Anyhow - I'm sad for him and it slightly stressed me out but life goes on.
In fact - besides this crazy stuff things have been good.
I've been having some AMAZING sex.
Jay and I went to Sacramento and saw some SG friends.
Greggy was trying to molest me and Jay
It is difficult to unlearn.
Lucky me, Jason sticks with me. He is my ultimate source of support, love, affection and all things fantastic, sexy and mushy.
My oldest brother committed himself to the mental hospital last week. Thank goodness. He was having some delusions, paranoid and saying some crazy stuff I guess.
He's been messed up and got discharged from the Marines about a year ago on disability for his mental state. However, they were having a hard time diagnosing him beyond his PTSD and antisocial disorder.
This time they have finally concluded that he is schizophrenic.
This is the third person in my blood family that is schizophrenic. I must admit it's a scary thing.
He's on some meds now, he has been released and has follow up appointments that my sister will be taking him to.
I've learned all this via my sister. My brother and I don't talk and have a rough history. He's done some terrible things to me that he can't even remember doing. I'm still hurt but it's hard to make him be accountable when he doesn't remember and I know that his mental condition wasn't in his hands.
Anyhow - I'm sad for him and it slightly stressed me out but life goes on.
In fact - besides this crazy stuff things have been good.
I've been having some AMAZING sex.
Jay and I went to Sacramento and saw some SG friends.
Greggy was trying to molest me and Jay
Tomorrow we're going to the speedway to go see our friend race. I think I will have some nachos.
And because I love you:
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Keep up your change, I know you've been at this for awhile and I am glad you still working on yourself.
I may be in Sacramento next year (wedding in SF and it is usually cheaper to fly into SMF).