maude

trying to ignore my dislike for the new management, and every time my brain is idle i start daydreaming about how great it would be if i were manager so i'd make enough money to have my own apartment in town, no need for a roommate, and could pay for EVERYTHING by myself. and if i got lucky maybe even have a place that allowed dogs so my babygirl wouldn't have to leave me when my family moves next year. but i can't afford that, and i'm not manager. it took a while to sink in but i'm pissed and hurt and feel slighted now (obviously). my boyfriend wants me to move in with him for the winter since his family will probably go south then and he wouldn't go unless i was coming, which i obviously can't with work. but he lives about half an hour from where i work, and it's dangerous enough driving the five minutes from here to work during the winter.

i don't even know when i'm working next week (yeah, as in any day after tomorrow) for sure since the manager sucks ass at scheduling. i have way more experience in running the store (and other stores, too) than he does but noooo. fucking shit, i have absolutely no idea what i'm going to do or where i'm going to be this time next year. there's a nice fat trust fund that i got the money for my car out of but i'll get the rest when i pry it from my grandmother's cold dead fingers (or "when" i decide to go to college, which won't happen). i could almost definitely buy a fucking house with that money (granted a small one but A HOUSE).

all this bullshit has been making me especially grumpy. even anytime i paused between superfun video games during the smoke-and-game fest that my boyfriend and i were having, my mind went to how nice it would be to have a place of my own. i wish i had a place of my own so i could get drunk and supergrumpy on my own....but i'm not abuot to get drunk in my family's house. that's weird to me.

um anyway....fuck it. there's new good music out that i'd talk about but i'm just pissy. and probably PMS-y. but also plain fed up with the mismanagement of the hiring and shit in the company. i got a used copy of the dvd of Les Vampires, so i'm gonna head to bed and either watch the first segment of that or play Pokemon Blue Rescue Team (on my sweet new Onyx DS Lite).