mattereaterlad2

doc and i drove down to tacoma today to help a friend. he owns a bookstore, he's just moved, he needed shelvers. so, we got in the car and went down.

my day off, i'm shelving books.

know what? had a really great time. as doc said, it's so nice to be around something you love (books), to be doing a job because you enjoy...
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had way too much to drink last night. panix played the monks and supernova for me. doc and i sat together, held each other. she brought whiskey and coke to the table again and again. i snuggled in closer. she held me up. i love a girl who can drink me under the table. wonderful time, kind of disappearing into her in the dark, smoky...
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Casseroles! I've decided to make lots and lots of casseroles from now on.

Doc and I were fighting. My fault. Things are better now.

I'm a cutter when drunk and frustrated. Forgot about that.

oh jesus fucking god!

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

my kindgdom for sleeping pills. or a hermitage.

"When you have spent as long inside yourself as I have you learn a certain humility in the face of hardship. And then you learn it again. It takes years to become as softhearted and hopeful as I am. I had no business dancing with a young woman like that. I should have known better.

The heart is not only a lonely hunter, though it...
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went out to see the popular shapes, the spits and dead moon tonight. sometimes i forget just how a belly full of bourbon, and three chords can seduce me. graceland was hot and crowded. the drinks were stiff. amanda drove and pounded tequila. i bobbed to the bands, watched the crowd move left, move right, like waves breakig on shore and pulling back. what i...
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Came home to find Emmett had eaten a roll of toilet paper. There was a rejection letter in my mailbox from a lit. journal. Laundry was hanging on the lines next to my window. A large, blue-lace bra was swaying and dancing with the sheets, tossed about by the breeze.

Attention

I imagine they are brothers. They have the same short, dark brown hair. Both in glasses, though one of the two has lenses so thick he must be nearly blind. His eyes dart left and right behind them fast, jerky, strained. They both have a looseness to their movement that makes me think they are probably retarded as well. Their heads loll, turn slowly....
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the fever and the throat still pester me. i'm back to work, though. awful awful awful.

and i usually like the frickin j-o-b. just been a thorn in my side recently. that smell of sulphur and brimstone, prolly.

can't really even enjoy any of my time with doc.

writing lots. the fever inspired two short pieces.

my urine smells of penicillin.

hey, baby, it's the...
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