funny story mmy ex-girlfriend, who is still living sith me rent free, as she has been for the past year, but is now dating some bass player from reading (while still living off of me) met one of the top 5 in my sg favorites list while out with said douche-bag boyfriend. i, on the otherhand, have been drowning myself in a haze of prescription...
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tonight my intention is to get guinnessed out of my face, and watch the dropkick murphys dvd until i pass into sweet oblivion, maybe i'll throw in a touch of boondock saints just for good measure. within two weeks i'll be officially out of the gulag apartment and further along the way to my lovely new downtown domocile. fresh start, swearing off women for the...
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i can't wait to get out of this place, it's fucking toxic. my apartment in town should hopefully be ready by may, 1. for april i'll be transient, staying with erick and d. again i suppose. then downtown, and couldn't ask for a better place. just have to get through the next couple of weeks here...
fuck it
friday night, and shortly to be heading out for the usual. hoping that erick and d. won't spring jenni on me again. gotta start packing my things soon. looks as if the apartment i want might work out after all. great location. a block from market and the dipco, a block from the transcending flesh and 2 from the chameleon, walking distance to a.y.p. and...
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retracted the dating profile. not really fit to be with another human being right now, and besides, i look like ass in my pic. drink too much, when i'm not doing that i'm only working or sleeping. need to get out more, there's a show saturday night. maybe i'll go if i can get past the feeling of bieng an old man among children. journaling...
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followed up on the apartment thing and it fell through, don't know what i'm going to do. ready for something to go right for a change.
things are mostly the same... have a lead on an apartment in town, perfect location (right over the gallery, a block from market/dipco), and better than perfect rent. hope it works out, gotta get out of this place. seth was down for the weekend hung out watched movies, went to a.y.p. back to work tomorrow.
a month and a half back on meds and not realy feeling any better. now i'm sitting here listening to my sister go on a ten minute tyrade about her baby's father, and i'm really not up for it. feel like my head's going to explode. this shit with mel is making me sick. felt like i was going to pass out at work today....
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bored, spent the whole day on the couch. oh well...
most of my stress is the fault of my friends. i can't deal with it. but when i go to any of them for lies ("everything will be alright") and comfort (someone to drink with), it's some big hassle. so yeah. fuck my friends not having time to talk me out of my crazy notions. really now. they're the cause of most of my bullshit stress. gar.
maybe i need new friends?
and yeah. fuck emo. with a stick. in the mouth. i miss the whole scene. i love hardcore, but i do miss the good old street punk shows and what not. and again. just to reitterate. fuck emo.