matt1ri

My heart is heavy, yet my mind is clear. The inevitable is now upon us, if there ever was an us to speak of. My ongoing loneliness will now be justified by physical as well emotional absence. Change is good when it is for the better; the gnawing pain I have recently been accustomed to will soon end.

I am perplexed by my inability to approach affairs of the heart with the reason and care I approach most situations. At times, I let my feelings overshadow, logical thought, and the reality of the situation at hand, I am sure I am not alone in this. I do not want to be cold and calculating, and should not have to be if the situation is right, however I must learn to protect myself or remove myself from a situation once it is obvious that protection is necessary. Again, if the situation is right this would not be necessary.

I have a good sense of the necessity and manner in which to deal with my current situation, but would like to learn to avoid it in the future. The question I pose if anyone is even reading this is:
Why would a person go out of their way to salvage a failing relationship, if time and again they display the same behavior that caused it to fail in the first place? (Why pull a person closer just to hurt them repeatedly?) I am currently asking myself why I would allow this. (I can no longer accept my previous answer Because I have feelings and care for this person , that just eads me to the question Why do I care for someone who frequently hurts me and claims they are my friend?)

It is time to have fun with those that are my friends and treat me the way friends should treat each other.


HAPPY St. Pat's