matrixxx

The doctor, after an examination, sighed and said, 'I've got some bad
news. You have cancer, and you'd best put your affairs in order.'

The woman was shocked, but managed to compose herself and walk into
the waiting room where her daughter had been waiting. 'Well,
daughter, we women celebrate when things are good, and we celebrate
when things don't go so well. In this case, things aren't well. I have
cancer. So, let's head to the club and have a martini.'

After 3 or 4 martinis, the two were feeling a little less somber.
There were some laughs and more martinis. They were eventually
approached by some of the woman's old friends, who were curious as to
what the two were celebrating. The woman told her friends they were
drinking to her impending end, 'I've been diagnosed with AIDS..' The
friends were aghast, gave the woman their condolences and beat a hasty
retreat.

After the friends left, the woman's daughter leaned over and
whispered, 'Momma, I thought you said you were dying of cancer, and
you just told your friends you were dying of AIDS! Why did you do
that??'

'Because I don't want any of those bitches sleeping with your father
after I'm gone.'

And THAT, my friends, is what is called, 'Putting Your Affairs In Order.'