matamoras

What if you ask to know it all and you don't like it? What if you want to know it and you aren't moved? What then?

This week was absolutely disatrous as I spent Monday night in the emergency room fretting over a loved one. When the doctor asks to see you, it's never good. But it got better, got tolerable and now we wait and see. My hands shook so hard talking to the nurse. I did not have any composure as I explained that yes even though my last name was different we were still married. Emergency rooms are strange creatures. First you are fighting your way in to be seen. Then you are waiting with worry, then anger at the pacxe of it all, then exhaustion when you realize that you are allowed to leave - that tonight's immediacy has left and has been replaced with tomorrow's ongoing concern.

I had to return to school either way. In one week I will be more than halfway there. About 13 weeks to go. I'm getting there. With the passing of months, comes the passing of time and that leaves more to-be-determined questions and answers, kinks in the way.

Please do not test my strength - I'm afraid I'll fail.