mas_o_menos

so last night i stayed up til 5:30 AM working on a slideshow for work, today i was worth it. i went to work with 2 hours of sleep and was kind of delirous, but somehow came to appreciate the wonderful people that i work with a little more.

on wednesday i might read/recite a poem at this celebration/open mic type thing. it's weird cuz i haven't written anything in a while.

i'm thinking about reading this piece that i wrote a while ago:



makes me feel like such a man predator
when i feel the male gaze coming out of my eyes
i get hipnotized by your hips and thighs
i try to tie
down my desires and torture them
like they were prisoners of war
because i see you take up space
and i want you to take up more
of me than i can afford
to give to you
is a dream
to this insomniac
sexual maniac searching for a counter attack
in the way that you look at me
that will liberate my emotional availability
don't you see it got lost in insecurities
for a lack of identification with a mythical identity of masculinity
which is just ego masturbation
resulting in the manifestation of an over compensation
in my sexuality
which like a drug only distracted me from the pain
until i saw it show up in side of you
as you wished and i wish i knew
who i really was so that i could be true
you see i tripped
over the lie of being a man
now i stand
fractured, and waiting for a women to make me understand
you see because we can be more
you see because we can make love
when there is so much worth loving for


ok, that is all for now

"must not sleep, must warn others"
i am going to bed
-g