Okay first I have to rave about a product! If you haven't tried this, you need too! It's a little expensive, but works like nothing I've ever used before.
Clinique- Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion
The picture I have attached is the largest bottle that you can get it in and it includes the pump. Macy's sells is for $25, yeah it's a bit expensive for how much you get, but I use it for my face and one pump, which isn't a lot, is too much for my face. So a little goes a long way. It keeps my skin super soft and not flakey. I also use it on my tattoos instead of regular lotion. It works like a champ!
Also, and I'm just saying... Metaphorically speaking, if I was a guy, and if I had a penis... and lets say that I used lotion to beat it, and by beat it, yes I mean jack off (LMAO) yeah I just said that), I'd use this lotion. I bet it won't chaff. But then again I don't jack something off, so I don't exactly know how that works, as in like if it gets chapped from touching yourself too much. Then it makes me think... GET A GIRLFRIEND (or boyfriend, whatever floats your boat). Oh and boys, it is hypoallergenic and and no harsh chemicals, so if you have sensitive skin, and I do, it's great for that.
Alright, so today's annoyance...
I have a friend, lets call him Thadaecus. Recently he came out that he was bisexual. I don't see anything wrong with that, shit I'm bisexual. I believe love doesn't have a face. You can't help who you love. Old, young, black, white, round eyes, slanted eyes, who gives a fuck what or who, because when you fall in love, love won't give a shit about any of that.
So anyways, back to my story... He had told a small amount of people, me being one of them about this. It was a secret for the small number of us to keep, and really, it was more just being able to vent about who he was kind of thing. He decided to tell one of his closest guy friends, we will call him Voldemort. Voldemort was sworn to keep it a secret. Thadaecus went out his way a lot for Voldemort during their friendship, lets keep that in mind. Voldemort took it upon himself to decide that Thadaecus' business was his to tell, and spread it around. Well, Thadaecus found out, confronted him about it, and the lying, deceitful, self-centered, pile of donkey shit he is, decided to blame it on the exact person that filled in Thadaecus on what Voldemort was spreading. Voldemort thought it was okay to bash Thadaecus about this new found lifestyle, when their mutual friends aren't really up on the skinny about Voldemort getting head from a guy. So as Voldemort tries to hide that little bit of info, he's being a hypocrit and a jackass trying to make Thadaecus look bad. Lets just say the rest isn't so peachy and clean cut. But there is a lesson to learn from this short story...
Lesson learned-- Shitty people, do shitty things. Don't be one of those shitty people, stop spreading business that isn't yours. I find a lot of people still think they are in high school and gossip to sound cool. However your not doing anything, but making yourself sound and look like a jackass!! When you have no friends because that is your M.O. please don't ever wonder why.
Just remember! Karma is a bitch and it always comes back to bite you in the ass. You never know when your where she will strike, but be careful!
Enjoy boys and girls!!
Clinique- Dramatically Different Moisturizing Lotion
The picture I have attached is the largest bottle that you can get it in and it includes the pump. Macy's sells is for $25, yeah it's a bit expensive for how much you get, but I use it for my face and one pump, which isn't a lot, is too much for my face. So a little goes a long way. It keeps my skin super soft and not flakey. I also use it on my tattoos instead of regular lotion. It works like a champ!
Also, and I'm just saying... Metaphorically speaking, if I was a guy, and if I had a penis... and lets say that I used lotion to beat it, and by beat it, yes I mean jack off (LMAO) yeah I just said that), I'd use this lotion. I bet it won't chaff. But then again I don't jack something off, so I don't exactly know how that works, as in like if it gets chapped from touching yourself too much. Then it makes me think... GET A GIRLFRIEND (or boyfriend, whatever floats your boat). Oh and boys, it is hypoallergenic and and no harsh chemicals, so if you have sensitive skin, and I do, it's great for that.
Alright, so today's annoyance...
I have a friend, lets call him Thadaecus. Recently he came out that he was bisexual. I don't see anything wrong with that, shit I'm bisexual. I believe love doesn't have a face. You can't help who you love. Old, young, black, white, round eyes, slanted eyes, who gives a fuck what or who, because when you fall in love, love won't give a shit about any of that.
So anyways, back to my story... He had told a small amount of people, me being one of them about this. It was a secret for the small number of us to keep, and really, it was more just being able to vent about who he was kind of thing. He decided to tell one of his closest guy friends, we will call him Voldemort. Voldemort was sworn to keep it a secret. Thadaecus went out his way a lot for Voldemort during their friendship, lets keep that in mind. Voldemort took it upon himself to decide that Thadaecus' business was his to tell, and spread it around. Well, Thadaecus found out, confronted him about it, and the lying, deceitful, self-centered, pile of donkey shit he is, decided to blame it on the exact person that filled in Thadaecus on what Voldemort was spreading. Voldemort thought it was okay to bash Thadaecus about this new found lifestyle, when their mutual friends aren't really up on the skinny about Voldemort getting head from a guy. So as Voldemort tries to hide that little bit of info, he's being a hypocrit and a jackass trying to make Thadaecus look bad. Lets just say the rest isn't so peachy and clean cut. But there is a lesson to learn from this short story...
Lesson learned-- Shitty people, do shitty things. Don't be one of those shitty people, stop spreading business that isn't yours. I find a lot of people still think they are in high school and gossip to sound cool. However your not doing anything, but making yourself sound and look like a jackass!! When you have no friends because that is your M.O. please don't ever wonder why.
Just remember! Karma is a bitch and it always comes back to bite you in the ass. You never know when your where she will strike, but be careful!
Enjoy boys and girls!!
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
chewboy:
nice story.. and very true. shitty people do shitty things. as for being a guy using lotion?... i dont use anything when its time to get down. i have used it, but only for a smoothing and softening of the skin. just saying.
donnieblaze:
Self lubing? What? Explain?