My aforementioned friend had her husband call my house today, wanting to get some dvds back from my brother. I got him when he called, and I told him it wouldn't be a problem. Before I hung up, I asked how he was doing, he hesitated, so I said, "she's pretty mad at me, huh?" He said, "Yup." I told him I understood that he couldn't talk about it, then that I'd see him when he came to get the movies.
A few minutes later, the phone rang, and it was my friend... telling me she wasn't mad at me. She said that she hadn't called me since our last exchange (when I had blurted out that I felt bullied by her, that I felt that I couldn't express my opinions without being bulldozed, that I felt bad for her husband who regularly had to put up with the same treatment), because she felt she was giving me what I wanted. I had said I was fearful to call because I was afraid she'd be pissed. She asked me if I meant what I said, and I said that although I was sorry for the way it came out (all blurty and such), but that I meant every word that I said.
The conversation was uncomfortable from beginning to end. I won't list every detail, but I found myself getting more and more frustrated - and for anyone who knows me well, that is not common for me. I'm not an angry person, but man, she just hadn't heard anything I had said. She twisted things that I had said around to suit herself - that it wasn't her fault I felt bullied, it was my fault for not sticking up for myself.
I kept my head, tried not to say anything I didn't mean (though there were two things I said that I would not have said if I wasn't overly frustrated). I told her that I felt our friendship should be over. That it wasn't healthy. I made sure I was clear on my reasons.
I didn't want it to end that way... I hate leaving things on a bad note. I don't think she could handle so much from me all at once, when she wasn't used to me voicing my opinion (not when it opposes her views, anyway). And I don't think I could handle going back to the "friendship" as it was. I stood up for myself, for once.
I'm feeling like a selfish meanie because of ending the friendship... but at the same time, I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.
Thanks again to all my awesome friends here.