Depression does not always mean people shattering at the wrists, A glorified and heroic battle for your sanity or mothers that never got the chance to say goodbye.

Sometimes depression means not getting out of bed for 3 days because your feet refuse to believe that they will not shatter upon impact with the floor.

Sometimes depression means that summoning the willpower to go do the laundry is the most impressive thing you accomplished that week.

Sometimes depression means lying on the floor staring at the ceiling for hours because you cannot convince your body that it is capable of movement.

Sometimes depression means that every single bone in your body aches but you have to keep going thru the motions because you cannot call into work depressed.

Sometimes depression means ignoring every phone call for a month because yes, they have the right number but you're not the person they're looking for.

Not anymore.

Today I realized that I am the biggest hypocrite of them all. I tell everyone to keep holding on. That there is light at the end of the tunnel. That everything get's better as long as they continue to wait. I always tell people to have hope. That they need to keep trying because it is too early to give up. That they have so much left to do, to give..

Then there is me.... And I am barely holding on.