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marsrich

Member Since 2004

Followers 26 Following 127

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Thursday Jan 20, 2005

Jan 19, 2005
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This morning: 246
This probably has to do with the fact that I have no money and i am rationing out the last of my food. So, I am not eating a whole lot plus commuting the 7 or 8 miles to work everyday on my bike. Oh well, I get paid tomorrow.

I don't think this day could get any worse. the overdraft fine on my account is huge. I should have paid more attention. In the autoCAD class I am taking i sit across from the girl i have a thing for. she was passing a note back and forth between her and her roommate. After about an hour me and the girl sitting across from the roommate started to try and read it. I think the first line said " he kissed me" and it was written by Her. I didn't get passed that. I know I will never be with her. I can accept that. That doesn't keep it from hurting. After that I call my mom. my grandfather has cancer. it is in the lining of his bladder. they are going to havr to administer medication through a cathater once a week for 6 weeks. after that they will do another biopsy if it is still there they will start over with the medication. they will do this up tp 3 times if needed. if the cancer is still there they will have to remove the bladder. my mother told me that this is a rather involved procedure and not a good idea for someone of his age.
my grandfather is one of the only people in my family that i truly belive loves me. he is one of the few people in the world i care about. I knew he wasn't going to be around forever. but I hope that he could at least stay around long enough to see me finally happy with my life.
i don't know whaat to do. I wish everything was better.

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