markbousfield

Oh and there it was that she lay,
I,
as the spook in the shadows,
Boo,
I watched through my claws,
Almost as though I couldn't bear to look,
and it's raining,
damn it's cold up here,
the speckles of her blood glisten through her sweet soft skin,
the best way to keep it in,
I used to think she was pure,
then she drowned...
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The blemishes are raised like a bruise,
as a pulse of terror in the wrists of the weak
we lay close together as kindred spirits,
like siamese twins welcomed into death in unison,
This the crux I use to fall further and farther
into love and all that it beholds,
it is the flicker of guilt,
the nuance of menace
and the creeping self doubt...
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Today,
I wished upon a scar,
a map of experience
so defined in His binds,
an opiate,
vulgarity hanging like a loose wreath
around my feet,
covered in sacred cloth my skin is cold.
Alone in the street,
the only thought keeping me warm
is that maybe sometimes rape
is not so different to peaceful sleep.

And the first spoke second,
"On any road to...
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If I were to reign in my unwieldy ego
and with it the reason I am here
do you know what it is you ask of me?

I placed my love on the pharmacy shelf,
I laid it for you near the heart medicine.
I did this simply because you asked me to.

What of me now you are not here?
Am I to buy...
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Ah the boy,
would it be crass to ask?
Just another whistful gasp
as more little pictures make me look like a twat.

As we shared our countenance
(love like a love child's)
we breathed a beautiful lie.
When our cancers end,
when we take off the masks to die a little more
I will be the dream that haunts you,
the hollowness in your cheeks,
the fingers around your throat,
around your vulva,
the touches that terrify and tease,
the hands that masturbate and murder,
the voice...
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As a student of atrophy
within the cage of humanity
I lie in the propensity of these recurring nightmares (erotic or otherwise),
oh, how the small hands cover
the urge to control myself,
to contort myself,
to distort,
to retort,
to withdraw.
Yes,
your favourite patient
that cannot/will not move,
I want to fuck the hole where your heart used to live.
Then you will...
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Shred each memory of me,
forget I disturbed your sleep,
discard each moment we shared,
I cannot take to this any longer,
I have to set myself free,
I have embraced my happiness,
it is within the resistance I showed
to your blood inside of me.

There is a gap,
just there,
just behind your head,
a gap where the rain is getting in,
I'm...
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I can't stand this house,
with leaves on the floor and clothes on the line
it stinks like fucking dark.
like the dark under trains as they pass me by,
she uses it,
paints angels with it,
not enough vitamin in my breakfast,
the humming of the stars as they turn,
I'm lying in the gutter,
the quickest way to Hell I'll tell you,
I...
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Under torrents of blissful company
I become my best self,
a gleeful nymph in the raging placcid,
a spritely missile of infection
amidst the dignified hysterics of grief.

Life as a vessel for being,
sailed on in the infinite breath of the Gods,
in their wisdom,
over seas of pride and negligence,
oh how I loved you when I bathed in the blood of another,...
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As I revered the bones of the young and dead,
as I slipped into the gaps between consciousness
the gaze of unkempt desire (tending the
loose coins I held in my hand) came to me.

I stand motionless,
my world is still.
Each of your scars I miss,
the ones I could embrace and keep warm,
illustrious pathways of existence like
a stranger's hand reaching...
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I lay there my love
casting shadows from the Eastern light escaping over my navel,
I lay there my love
as our death rattle awoke inside of me inside of you,
I lay there my love
whilst I sought solace in the frugal smiles of sexuality that still adorned our sweaty faces,
I lay there my love
contemplating the chastity of menace within the fraudulent...
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