"The Silver Promise Ring"
Walking home in the rain, it's cold. Why didn't I wear my jacket? I was to preoccupied with all this trouble she'd caused with our relationship. All of this stress is catching up with me, in my stomach or what should be a stomach. I think Im going to be a monk, they've got it all going for them, the simple life. God, I wish my life was simple. Better than a monk, I want to be a cat, with a good owner, like me, and get what I need when I need it without worries of love and education. I'm freezing. Maybe I'll get pneumonia and die, now I just sound like the guy from Catcher in the Rye. Ah yes, Holden.
Crossing the wet lot of the gas station, I look down and see a shiney brown circle. A penny. It's pretty shiney, I guess it's been polished by all the rain. Pick it up? no, I don't need to carry more change, and the cars are waiting to get by anyways. Stepping right beside the penny as I pass, letting the cars go through. I should have picked up that penny, I really need the luck for my love life, she fucking hurt me so much. Lets turn around and get it, no, definately not. It's freezing. If it was a toonie I would have picked it up for sure. Imagine all the luck in a toonie. I think I found one in grade school once, wait, no that was my friend. Oh well, I'll find one someday, or not. I just want to get home and get warm. Stepping onto my street, the sun shines out and the rain decides to quit immediately. Great. At least my cats will have a nice time outside.
Up, Im up. No noises upstairs yet, it's too early to shower. Time for sleep again. wonderful sleep.
I can't do it. I can't wait to talk to the doctor about those sleep aids, this is getting unbearable. Five minutes sitting up in bed looking into the darkness of the morning, the clock alarm going off, what a peircing sound to wake up too. I hate that thing. I wish I didn't smash my phone in half, I quite enjoyed waking up to that 'Good morning Starshine' ringtone.
Oh yeah, I took the ring off. The silver promise ring i gave her some months ago, it couldn't be worn in the shower or else it would tarnish. It wasn't a full circle. Instead of closing into a full circle, the two ends came close and turned slightly away from eachother and fanned out into what looked like abstract wings. I mentioned that when i gave the thing to her, the fact that a promise ring is usualy a full circle becuase a promise doesn't break. Ha, ironic, her broken promises.
No breakfast again today, I can't handle the thought of food anymore. Maybe there will be lunch, I doubt it, the thought is making my stomach tie in knots again. I missed life yesterday because of my stomach, I can't use that excuse again. I guess I'll have to go out. Hey, maybe I'll loose weight from all this stress, finally.
The skys are cloudy still, not so much as yesterday, but it's still raining. At least I wore my jacket. It makes me look chunky and large, but I love it. I got it via mail, why must I always think about her right now? It just makes me more depressed about what she wants with me now. Nothing. Nothing more out of our relationship, we can be friends. It's easy for her to be so naive about breaking up since she was married before me. While Im used. Those girls don't care much. They had no need for me after their cunts got wet thanks to their sweet words and holding me close in order to make me feel protected. I am naive too.
I wish I picked up that penny, it was so shiney. I am unlucky with everything lately, I hate this. But to end it is selfish, I wish she understood what goes through my mind when that happens. I'll have to talk toherwhen I get around the corner HA!. I'm still immature, immature and naive about all relationships. Damn unlucky and naive. But aren't we all
Right at that moment, watching the ground as I walked, there it was. A toonie. Looking to the houses on either side of the street, grinning. I bend over and scoop it up quickly without even stopping. I look at it in my hand. Thank you. Thank you, whoever lost this, I know I've got something to be here for.
Walking home in the rain, it's cold. Why didn't I wear my jacket? I was to preoccupied with all this trouble she'd caused with our relationship. All of this stress is catching up with me, in my stomach or what should be a stomach. I think Im going to be a monk, they've got it all going for them, the simple life. God, I wish my life was simple. Better than a monk, I want to be a cat, with a good owner, like me, and get what I need when I need it without worries of love and education. I'm freezing. Maybe I'll get pneumonia and die, now I just sound like the guy from Catcher in the Rye. Ah yes, Holden.
Crossing the wet lot of the gas station, I look down and see a shiney brown circle. A penny. It's pretty shiney, I guess it's been polished by all the rain. Pick it up? no, I don't need to carry more change, and the cars are waiting to get by anyways. Stepping right beside the penny as I pass, letting the cars go through. I should have picked up that penny, I really need the luck for my love life, she fucking hurt me so much. Lets turn around and get it, no, definately not. It's freezing. If it was a toonie I would have picked it up for sure. Imagine all the luck in a toonie. I think I found one in grade school once, wait, no that was my friend. Oh well, I'll find one someday, or not. I just want to get home and get warm. Stepping onto my street, the sun shines out and the rain decides to quit immediately. Great. At least my cats will have a nice time outside.
Up, Im up. No noises upstairs yet, it's too early to shower. Time for sleep again. wonderful sleep.
I can't do it. I can't wait to talk to the doctor about those sleep aids, this is getting unbearable. Five minutes sitting up in bed looking into the darkness of the morning, the clock alarm going off, what a peircing sound to wake up too. I hate that thing. I wish I didn't smash my phone in half, I quite enjoyed waking up to that 'Good morning Starshine' ringtone.
Oh yeah, I took the ring off. The silver promise ring i gave her some months ago, it couldn't be worn in the shower or else it would tarnish. It wasn't a full circle. Instead of closing into a full circle, the two ends came close and turned slightly away from eachother and fanned out into what looked like abstract wings. I mentioned that when i gave the thing to her, the fact that a promise ring is usualy a full circle becuase a promise doesn't break. Ha, ironic, her broken promises.
No breakfast again today, I can't handle the thought of food anymore. Maybe there will be lunch, I doubt it, the thought is making my stomach tie in knots again. I missed life yesterday because of my stomach, I can't use that excuse again. I guess I'll have to go out. Hey, maybe I'll loose weight from all this stress, finally.
The skys are cloudy still, not so much as yesterday, but it's still raining. At least I wore my jacket. It makes me look chunky and large, but I love it. I got it via mail, why must I always think about her right now? It just makes me more depressed about what she wants with me now. Nothing. Nothing more out of our relationship, we can be friends. It's easy for her to be so naive about breaking up since she was married before me. While Im used. Those girls don't care much. They had no need for me after their cunts got wet thanks to their sweet words and holding me close in order to make me feel protected. I am naive too.
I wish I picked up that penny, it was so shiney. I am unlucky with everything lately, I hate this. But to end it is selfish, I wish she understood what goes through my mind when that happens. I'll have to talk toherwhen I get around the corner HA!. I'm still immature, immature and naive about all relationships. Damn unlucky and naive. But aren't we all
Right at that moment, watching the ground as I walked, there it was. A toonie. Looking to the houses on either side of the street, grinning. I bend over and scoop it up quickly without even stopping. I look at it in my hand. Thank you. Thank you, whoever lost this, I know I've got something to be here for.