marilynm

So i know i just changed my journal on sunday and to do it again in such close proxemity would normally be crazy but I just had to rant...today I had lunch with my ex which I assumed would be slightly awkward but nice cause we are still good friends anyway the lunch started out fine until he dropped the bomb that this girl he has been seeing for about a month is now pregnant. i am litterally aw struck. I believe my tounge actually fell out of my mouth. I honestly didnt know what to say.
This was a guy that i was with for 4 years and was engaged to. The guy who never wanted more kids. How was it 4 years with me and I never get pregnant and a couple nights with her and bam!! I am disheartened about it but at the same time I feel I can finally have closure. This is not the same guy I fell in love with. It is the shell of that man. Sure he still has scars and cuts from skateboarding and sure he is hot as fuck and likes cool music and shares the same passion for movies as me but this guy has decided to settle. He doesnt act on his drive the way he once did.
For the first time I feel like I can move on, I feel like he isnt holding me back...I know that we wont get back together and its better that way. I should have guessed he wasnt the same guy anymore when he wasnt excited about Rancid coming. I mean who doesnt wanna see their fav band live? He would have done that even last year but I guess he is just okay with where he is and doesnt have the asperation to change that. What I love is that as much as I know we arent getting back together that just knowing he still wants to sleep with me and fuck me in the ass even while dating this other girl gives me some sort of fucked up solice.

In other news.... I saw Thank You For Smoking
which was sooooo awesome!! I had no idea how funny it would be. I went alone which was okay actually. I think its always nice to have a day where you just do something special for yourself and I am always a good date.
Now cause punknitemike tagged me 10 things about me

• 1) I used to be a stripper



• 2) I am a vegitarian and have been for nearly 17 years



• 3)I love doing Karokee ( i cant spell it though)



• 4)I love Cars!! Inparticular Volkswagons (mmm karmenghia)



• 5)I am afraid of the dark, heights and cockroaches



• 6) I looooove anal sex!!



• 7)I have been collecting Marilyn Monroe memorabilia for 15 years



• 8)I did theater for 17 years and would love to get back into actting and directing



• 9)nine and 19 are my favorite numbers



• 10)I worked for HBO family and got my name in the credits...yeehaa!



• 11) I work two jobs..the carrousel and the picture people (at the mall)



• 12)because of said mall job i have spent more time in the mall now then i did my entire four years of highschool



• 13)i wear size 10 shoes



• 14)I prefer not wearing panities under skirts



• 15)I have been nicknamed rutabega and frankin coochie



• 16) my first concert was to see Live when i was 13



• 17)I used to have a male bashing zine in highschool



• 18)when I was 10 and my mom was at a meeting at a church and i really didnt want to be there i snuck into the sanctuary and glued all the bibles shut with super glue



• 19)I have twice gagged and thrown up while giving a guy head



• 20)I want to get implants

damn that took a bit