Wednesday Jul 24, 2002

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Sometimes I sit and wonder "What is it all for? why do I even bother with relationships, someone always gets hurt."

I completely withdrew from even the possibility of letting myself get involved with anyone at one point after one went sour.. really sour. My sole regret in life.

This coming from a person who believes that regret is a waste of an emotion..

But I can only deceive myself for so long, because every time I think my resolve is solid, common sense delivers a swift kick to the head and I realize that it's not a choice, but a neccesity because the worst possible thing for anyone is to be alone. Alone and miserable.

solisis:
alone can be miserable for some. I think I like it...at least in a companion sort of context. The people of my generation are all out of their minds and generally all over the place. can't trust anyone nowadays.
on the other hand...if you don't participate in the game you'll have no stories to tell and when you're rotting away in an adult care facility you'll think to yourself "what the fuck was I wasting my youth on being all careful and aversive?"...or maybe you'll think your reflection in your window is someone looking at you and become all paranoid.... what am I talking about... sorry for WASTING space in your journal
marikdfa:
My post was actually sparked by yours, I think it's good to be alone, and I don't mind it.. but I couldn't do it for years on end, and I think there are very few people that could, the emptiness in the bed is a reflection of the emptiness in my heart, and extra blankets can only do so much when it's freezing over outside.

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