Aye aye aye, well here comes the most fascinating of all updates... I spent the whole day today tidying my home. And when I say home I mean tiny little single room bedsit. Oh it sounds so squalid when I put it like that, I do love my place, I live in a beautiful area, right by Hampstead Heath, but it is a tad small. Which is why it so badly needed tidying - it's unbearable to live in messy. Tidying, goddamnit, not even cleaning!
And you know what? I'm not even finished yet. The 'kitchen' (read small kitchen bench in the corner of the room), is still a mess of dirty dishes. I don't know how I make such a mess of such a small space, and I *really* don't know how it took me a whole day to tidy. I even skipped my meditation class.
I now have a very large bag full of books to get rid of, and I'm so skint I'm going to try to sell them rather than just give them to charity. Does anyone know of any local 2nd hand bookstores that will give me a good deal?
I need a nice plant to make my home more homely.
Tomorrow morning will be spent at the laundrette, how fascinating?
Another thing about today, I've been thinking on the subject of anxiety. A friend of mine suffers from it quite badly, and I have an inkling of how she feels because sometimes I get it too. Not badly, but just the kind of anxiety that comes when I have a long list of things to do, and I get a kind of irrational fear that I will not be able to do the things I need to do. A big bout of tidying speaks to me of putting more important things off. I am often torn over whether or not to have a bath in the morning, because I think that once I get started I will find ways of drawing it out until suddenly the whole morning has gone and I have done nothing.
Umm.. I'm rambling. Anyway, I think it's good to notice these things and keep an eye on them. Meditation is very good for that, noticing what's going on inside, and overriding irrational fears with what I *actually* want to do.
I went and did volunteering for Crisis on Monday night. I thought Charles might be there (this is not why I did it, but just by-the-by), and in a way I wish he had been - I'd like to get it out of the way. See him again, deal with it. But he wasn't so that's probably not going to happen until I volunteer again at xmas.
Right, there you go, don't say I didn't warn you.
As a consolation for such a dreadfully boring update, here is another photo from my birthday
And you know what? I'm not even finished yet. The 'kitchen' (read small kitchen bench in the corner of the room), is still a mess of dirty dishes. I don't know how I make such a mess of such a small space, and I *really* don't know how it took me a whole day to tidy. I even skipped my meditation class.
I now have a very large bag full of books to get rid of, and I'm so skint I'm going to try to sell them rather than just give them to charity. Does anyone know of any local 2nd hand bookstores that will give me a good deal?
I need a nice plant to make my home more homely.
Tomorrow morning will be spent at the laundrette, how fascinating?
Another thing about today, I've been thinking on the subject of anxiety. A friend of mine suffers from it quite badly, and I have an inkling of how she feels because sometimes I get it too. Not badly, but just the kind of anxiety that comes when I have a long list of things to do, and I get a kind of irrational fear that I will not be able to do the things I need to do. A big bout of tidying speaks to me of putting more important things off. I am often torn over whether or not to have a bath in the morning, because I think that once I get started I will find ways of drawing it out until suddenly the whole morning has gone and I have done nothing.
Umm.. I'm rambling. Anyway, I think it's good to notice these things and keep an eye on them. Meditation is very good for that, noticing what's going on inside, and overriding irrational fears with what I *actually* want to do.
I went and did volunteering for Crisis on Monday night. I thought Charles might be there (this is not why I did it, but just by-the-by), and in a way I wish he had been - I'd like to get it out of the way. See him again, deal with it. But he wasn't so that's probably not going to happen until I volunteer again at xmas.
Right, there you go, don't say I didn't warn you.
As a consolation for such a dreadfully boring update, here is another photo from my birthday
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
johndoe98:
Hope your ok babe! Stay safe -x-
escottie:
when you come back from laundry, say something, anything, so we know you're okay. 