Strange day...
This morning was another huge blow up. "This isn't my problem, it's yours" was thrown at me, then more 'discussion' followed by "I think we should seperate"... Fuck me running. I lost it. I went off. Things were ugly. I left to go fix my car (bad fan motor leading to overheating engine, no biggie, and it gave me time to cool down). So, things are ugly...
I'm getting ready to come take a shower and pack my bag when she asks to talk to me again. I get an apology. That's twice in a week I've gotten one of those. She doesn't apologize to me. Never. Now, twice in a week. Both after major blowups. We talked and came to the conclusion that these fights, as ugly and painful as they are,are forcing us to bring out and 'discuss' issues we wouldn't normally bring out. They suck, but they're getting the jonn donr slowly. More therapy to follow... *sigh*
Anyway, so we went from wanting to kill each other and spilt up to having an awsome day at Legoland with the kids. They played, we held hands and talked about us, what's going on in our lives, the weather, anything and everything. Then we picked strawberries from some pay to pick place (too expensive, but fun and mildly therapeutic) and then went to dinner where we picked on each other and the other patrons like old times. It wa nice. Shit, what the hell kind of life do I have going on here...
Things are rough, things are ugly, but they're slowly improving. Just hope Ihave the patience and strength to stick it out. Wish me luck.
This morning was another huge blow up. "This isn't my problem, it's yours" was thrown at me, then more 'discussion' followed by "I think we should seperate"... Fuck me running. I lost it. I went off. Things were ugly. I left to go fix my car (bad fan motor leading to overheating engine, no biggie, and it gave me time to cool down). So, things are ugly...
I'm getting ready to come take a shower and pack my bag when she asks to talk to me again. I get an apology. That's twice in a week I've gotten one of those. She doesn't apologize to me. Never. Now, twice in a week. Both after major blowups. We talked and came to the conclusion that these fights, as ugly and painful as they are,are forcing us to bring out and 'discuss' issues we wouldn't normally bring out. They suck, but they're getting the jonn donr slowly. More therapy to follow... *sigh*
Anyway, so we went from wanting to kill each other and spilt up to having an awsome day at Legoland with the kids. They played, we held hands and talked about us, what's going on in our lives, the weather, anything and everything. Then we picked strawberries from some pay to pick place (too expensive, but fun and mildly therapeutic) and then went to dinner where we picked on each other and the other patrons like old times. It wa nice. Shit, what the hell kind of life do I have going on here...
Things are rough, things are ugly, but they're slowly improving. Just hope Ihave the patience and strength to stick it out. Wish me luck.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
We stayed friends and I got a lot of closure that way...a hell of a lot actually! I've been lucky that way.
However...it should never have happened.
Its sounds like, with you, she is confused about who is to blame, or who is an obstacle, for something, and that's why separating appeals to her. To just work on her own issues. Its actually easier to handle your own stuff on your own but its a terrible option and could take longer than the time frame when you still have the opportunity to put things back together. Thats what happened to me.
Nobody is a bad person in mine and the love is real. But issue-resolving-timeframes dilated and we couldn't hold it together. We had to keep confronting the issue everytime we went home. I wish we had done a marriage sabbatical..separate vacations...if it was early enough it might have helped who knows..but I didn't even try that.
EDIT: subject clarification.
[Edited on May 21, 2004 5:56AM]