marginwalker2002

I'm getting really fed up with shit lately. I have little drive and little "give a shit" left over. A great deal of it stems from the fact that my relationship is taking on a more "friends" aspect in order to "save" my "boyfriend/girlfriend/lovers" relationship. That she is drawing away from me to save things comes at a bad time and raises questions.

The timing sucks for multiple reasons. One, I just came back from being gone for 3 months and it seems perfectly natural to me to want to spend time with her, but I can't. For "the relationship..." Two, my children are moving to San Francisco in a month. I'm broken over this. Three, my support network of friends is no more. Because of my promotion, I'm not supposed to hang out with or associate with these people who now work for me so as not to bring up any questions of favortism. SO, my kids, my friends, my girlfriend... All essentially unavailable to me. This fucking sucks.

Now I'm asking questions that I have yet to truly voice and get answers to. Like, if K (the gf) gets into Med school, but elsewhere, what happens to us? Does she truly just want to be friends or is this something she wants in the long term?

Fuck, I hate this bullshit.

Sorry to rant and be depressing in general but its where my head is at and I have to get these things out so they don't gnaw at me.