Great news. As a limited time offer you are all invited to join my cult! 
yay!
THE CULT OF THE HOLY DRIED PINEAPPLE RINGS
Why, would you want to join?
Well, there's plenty of reasons.
1)You can all become priests and priestesses (sp?)there are no followers, everyone can commune with the pineapple equally.
2)You don't need to buy Nikies or give us money. (unfortunately there are no space ships, those cost money).
3)The great Pineapple is not jealous. You may worship other gods as well,
4)You can quote nonsense, "Yea though I walked through the valley of the twinkie, I did not despair..."
5)And most importantly, it has a nifty theme song.
"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the great pineapple ring,
It was sitting in a store and lo my soul grew dreid fruit wings,
The glory of the pineapple shall shine upon us all,
The fruit is marching on!
Glory glory pineapple,
glory glory pineapple,
glory glory pineapple,
The fruit is marching on!"
(repete until people shake their heads and walk away)
yay!
THE CULT OF THE HOLY DRIED PINEAPPLE RINGS
Why, would you want to join?
Well, there's plenty of reasons.
1)You can all become priests and priestesses (sp?)there are no followers, everyone can commune with the pineapple equally.
2)You don't need to buy Nikies or give us money. (unfortunately there are no space ships, those cost money).
3)The great Pineapple is not jealous. You may worship other gods as well,
4)You can quote nonsense, "Yea though I walked through the valley of the twinkie, I did not despair..."
5)And most importantly, it has a nifty theme song.
"Mine eyes have seen the glory of the great pineapple ring,
It was sitting in a store and lo my soul grew dreid fruit wings,
The glory of the pineapple shall shine upon us all,
The fruit is marching on!
Glory glory pineapple,
glory glory pineapple,
glory glory pineapple,
The fruit is marching on!"
(repete until people shake their heads and walk away)
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
A long time ago in a land kinda far away from caly, my sister told unto me the holiness of our dear lord and savior the flavorful pineapple. I've had many visions with other fruits and vegetables all explaining the way to me.
While I was fighting demons once I took into my hand the very pinneapple ring himself and I sacrificed him unto my better judgment and he himself showed me the light.
Now I sing the bright and shiny song so that I may spread the yellow rays of citric acid unto others whom may not know about him. Thank You Pinneapple rings!