Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

manual

Canada

Member Since 2004

Followers 13 Following 30

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Tuesday Jun 07, 2005

Jun 7, 2005
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Well,,, just got some bad news that my eldest sister of a three-child house (I'm the baby), has been diagnosed with a type of restrictive cardiomyopathy. An apparantly rare heart disease that the doctors believe was caused by a virus. She is about 35.

My sister, has had a rough shake in things. She mis-carried a few children, before finally having my nephew though a hard pregnancy that was a danger to her health. Now, her son is about 2 or 3, and from what I have read on the net, 80% people with restrictive cardiomyopathy live 5 years from diagnosis. Apparantly her only treatment options are a pacemaker, or transplant, and I am not too sure how much life that adds. All treatment is to increase comfort and quality of life, nothing will cure it or fix it.

Although not best friends growing up, we were still always on the same side. She never ratted on me for stealing booze, or other such shit. In my family, we always said that my sister Channon and I were like my father, calm and collected, and my middle sister Sandra was more emotional like my mother.

I'd be lying to say that my concerns are purely selfish. Although I am at a complete loss of what to think about this all, it still stirs up the fear of death in me. Even though my sister's heart problems were caused by a virus, the fatal heart attack my father had 10 years ago when he was 47 has left me fearing that heart-failure will be the death of me as well, almost like an un-avoidable curse. I know it's a stupid thought, and hope it's not a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I pray from time to time when in dispair, but this leaves me not even doing that. Pray for a cure that ain't there, wait for a miracle that doesn't show, beg for health for someone who deserves it by someone who don't.

Either way, I can't waste time letting her, as well as my other loved one's, know what they mean to me, that I am sorry for anything I have ever done to hurt them, and that they matter to me. And they do matter to me, even if I don't always even matter to myself.
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
ninjagrrrl:
i missed the glebe garage sale cuz i had no money! booo! i love going every year. i always find sweet deals smile

my dad is doing ok. he's in a home now and he seems to be ok there. every so often he complains about it -- he's a little higher functioning than the other residents... but if we had waited there may not have been any room - so we got him in just in time.

thanks for asking smile
Jun 13, 2005
thenorthernfury:
To answer your question yes, I have a judge Dread album on its way to me as we speak. Heard some of his stuff before, but now really look forward to hearing it through. See Ya!
Jun 20, 2005

More Blogs

  • 06.24.05
    1

    Friday Jun 24, 2005

    Lucky me has the day off,,,, I live in Ontario,, but I work in Quebec…
  • 06.22.05
    2

    Wednesday Jun 22, 2005

    Warts And All (CHOR) Warts and all, my baby, she loves me warts …
  • 06.14.05
    2

    Tuesday Jun 14, 2005

    I'm home sick from work today, as I am feeling nauseous (maybe from t…
  • 06.07.05
    8

    Tuesday Jun 07, 2005

    Well,,, just got some bad news that my eldest sister of a three-child…
  • 05.26.05
    0

    Thursday May 26, 2005

    it's been awhile since I last updated,,,, went down to niagara reg…
  • 04.22.05
    8

    Friday Apr 22, 2005

    Been awhile since I last updated my journal. I've really been pick…
  • 04.02.05
    2

    Saturday Apr 02, 2005

    Been keeping busy with my music,,, and work has been going OK. As so…
  • 03.17.05
    1

    Thursday Mar 17, 2005

    Still been battling a bitch-ass cold/flu, and its driving me crazy. …
  • 03.13.05
    4

    Sunday Mar 13, 2005

    Not much new... been doing laundry all day, and my wife has gone to g…
  • 03.07.05
    4

    Monday Mar 07, 2005

    Read More

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

23
years
8
months
21
days
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,589 SuicideGirls
  • 1,121,787 followers
  • 14,909,061 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,364,805 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo