mankazam

In respect to my pursuit of creating the ideal SG blog, and to transcend as a blog guru. I have thus far failed. This despite having developed a fashionable self loathing, soliciting an honourable sense of sarcasm, and developing a range of one-stop-shop insights. So, I have gone back to the drawing board, and immersed in some heavy research to find that missing SG ingredient that my blogs so lacked. After a heavy period scouring this site, what I found was so simple and obvious: bitchyness. So for this weeks thoughts and moments, I present:

A BITCHEN FO BLOG ENRICHIN
The Effigy Of A Rotty Mouth

1. AN OPER-RUDITY MISSED....

If the UN were a valid organisation, it would have turned it's attention to the serious misuse of poor, juvenile poetry a long time ago. Surely, the queens English, and our artistic sensibilities cannot be subjected to this treatment any longer. To my dear friends that have exposed me to this cruel form of torture in the past: I'm sorry that you went out with a chump. I'm sorry that he/she treated you badly. I'm sorry you allowed them to, and would again. I'm sorry you guys split up. But mostly, I'm sorry that you "feel the black robe of your soul like a 1000 screaming buffalo's, when you were just a passing whisper in the wind of reflection". vom

I'm the mate who took you out for a drink to feel better, and this is how you repay me? Send that poem to the person whom you wrote it about. Surely they deserve it more than myself. The truth does suck, but not as much as your poetry. I'll make it up to you in a future "empathy" blog.

2. HOW MY BITCH WAS BROKE.


I stumbled across these guys recently. How awesome.
I digress, back to bitching.

3. POLITICALLY CORRECT AND THE ART OF BEING INDIRECT.

I appreciate that presenting a politically correct image is an international norm. However, for us, it has become a national obsession. An example, in 10 short years, the term "Maid" has evolved to "Domestic", then to "Domestic Assistant", then to "Living Consultant", and finally, "Cultural Attach To The Better Understanding Of The Living Environment."

Don't get me wrong. I'm a screaming liberal. It's not the thought, it's the process. It prevents me from asking simple questions that plague my basic curiosity... Like, do midgets do midgets sized poohs? I mean... do the height impaired pass proportionately accurate faecal waste? Anyway, you get my point.

4. AN INTERLUDE

Quickly, smile. Hold that thought.....

Rainbows, peaches, puppy dogs, fresh popcorn.
A little longer....
Cool. On with the bitching. Phew, this is tiring... I'm needing regular breaks.

5. A BITCH IN EARNEST
Not a Bitch bitching Earnest, bitch! To be earnestly bitching.

There is a particular kind of person that I have had the regular displeasure of meeting, in real life and on this site. I would like to set the record straight. Being arrogant and rude is not an indication of superior intellect or creative prowess. I have devoted my life to the discipline of creativity, and have fortunately found some success on this front. Great conceptual creative requires that one lives in with the simplicity of a child. Open and honest to all of one's ideas. Every idea should be treated as a chance to reach new insight, and find a better solution. How arrogance could afford one this opportunity, I have no idea.

My request is really for your benefit, as I hope that anyone with a semblance of talent achieves more in life than a long list of adjectives (critics excluded). Real intelligence and creativity should manifest itself in something tangible. If you choose to wallow in your own self importance silently, then I'm down with that. Right now, your messing with my zen. In the greater scheme of things, my zen is so much more important than your insecurity, because it keeps me much more brilliant than you. Finally, if you choose to continue, then grow some balls, ditch the mask, and give your profile an honest identity... right now, the irony makes me want to scratch my brain out.

Give it up, and don't mess with me. The tiramisu is much stronger in me my child, and I'll win. In future, when you say "potato", I say, "fuck you".

6. POSTSCRIPT: OF MICE & MEN

I'm no good at this bitchy thing. And I'm really not looking for a fight. It would be totally unfair. I've seen you guys. I'm about 6 foot, and can't bring myself to beat up on a bunch of squares roughly 80 by 60 pixels large. My friends would be like, "Guy, you can't stand on a cartoony face... and you should'nt be punching the top of peoples heads... No! No! Not the penis! Oh the humanity!! "

So, let's call a truce, I'll switch back to self loathing in the next blog.

Another ManKaZam disco.