It is official - Today is the day! I have made a final decision and the result is in!
I AM FREAKING OLD AND GETTING FAT! FAT! FATTY MCFATTISEN!!!!!!
I know that I am not grossly obese or whatever - and I am not trying to offend anyone or act like a stupid girl who eats eats eats and barfs then complains on how fat she is and how yellow and rotted her teeth are...........
- I am just not skinny fit tight anymore.
I can feel the part of my ass flap hanging over onto my leg! I even walked a little slower to really see if it was touching together - you know to really feel the skin on skin sensation and YEP, it is there. FUCK!
I got to go get some more duct tape and start taping the ol' ass cheek up and hope that it does not show when I bend over in my lowrise jeans.......maybe they made a flesh color duct tape! Or perhaps I will just use smoke and mirrors if needed to create the illusion of a firm ass [but that would mean soooooo much MORE luggage that I would need to carry........hummmmmm....] I know! I COULD just get an ASS lift but how much are those and does anyone know if you could get insurance to cover it? [say like my mom did with her eyes......her doc took a picture of her after they had marked up her eyes and asked her to not smile....this way from the medical point of view.....they claimed that it was of manditory medical attention for her eye lids were soon to be hanging over her eyes, creating lost of site due to the flabby skin mass! Perhaps I could get something like that!]
That's the ticket! YEAH!!!!
I am gonna go get an ass lift! Nanner Nanner BOO BOO! I am gonna go get an ass lift! Nanner Nanner BOO BOOOOOO! and you don't get one!
I just hope I can find a good hatchet-er for I would have to be like that one guy who asked for butt implants and the doctor dude put breast implants in his ass cheecks! HAR HAR! Probably the only time in his life that he got to feel DDs! [bet he was like 'oooohh yeah those are nice' while he was checking out his newly acquired ass, while thinking that the ackwardly shaped cones would settle in shape once the swelling went down!!!!hehehehe - I am going to hell for some of my thoughts!]
Well - I am off to do research on hanging ass syndromes that require surgical attention as a end result! I think I can just google it! What keywords should I use??? hummmmm? low self esteem, distorted image disorder, weight gain due to lack of exercise, lazy women of complain about ass spread'age' insurance scam, what happens when all you consume is poptarts and schmirnoff ice? genetically destined to look like your mom? 'being in your 30's yet thinking you still pass for 22' reality syndrome, the 'moment in the gut, forever spreading the butt' diet fad, do men really care enough to even glance at your ass after the age of 21? -take the 'do I need a new ass' survey - see if your husband really thinks you are all that or is he just telling you what you need to hear in order to continue living in a peaceful surrounding???? - oh I could go on!
Yep - those should work - I'll hit the 'Im feeling lucky!' search! I should find something! Wish me luck!
I AM FREAKING OLD AND GETTING FAT! FAT! FATTY MCFATTISEN!!!!!!
I know that I am not grossly obese or whatever - and I am not trying to offend anyone or act like a stupid girl who eats eats eats and barfs then complains on how fat she is and how yellow and rotted her teeth are...........
- I am just not skinny fit tight anymore.
I can feel the part of my ass flap hanging over onto my leg! I even walked a little slower to really see if it was touching together - you know to really feel the skin on skin sensation and YEP, it is there. FUCK!
I got to go get some more duct tape and start taping the ol' ass cheek up and hope that it does not show when I bend over in my lowrise jeans.......maybe they made a flesh color duct tape! Or perhaps I will just use smoke and mirrors if needed to create the illusion of a firm ass [but that would mean soooooo much MORE luggage that I would need to carry........hummmmmm....] I know! I COULD just get an ASS lift but how much are those and does anyone know if you could get insurance to cover it? [say like my mom did with her eyes......her doc took a picture of her after they had marked up her eyes and asked her to not smile....this way from the medical point of view.....they claimed that it was of manditory medical attention for her eye lids were soon to be hanging over her eyes, creating lost of site due to the flabby skin mass! Perhaps I could get something like that!]
That's the ticket! YEAH!!!!
I am gonna go get an ass lift! Nanner Nanner BOO BOO! I am gonna go get an ass lift! Nanner Nanner BOO BOOOOOO! and you don't get one!
I just hope I can find a good hatchet-er for I would have to be like that one guy who asked for butt implants and the doctor dude put breast implants in his ass cheecks! HAR HAR! Probably the only time in his life that he got to feel DDs! [bet he was like 'oooohh yeah those are nice' while he was checking out his newly acquired ass, while thinking that the ackwardly shaped cones would settle in shape once the swelling went down!!!!hehehehe - I am going to hell for some of my thoughts!]
Well - I am off to do research on hanging ass syndromes that require surgical attention as a end result! I think I can just google it! What keywords should I use??? hummmmm? low self esteem, distorted image disorder, weight gain due to lack of exercise, lazy women of complain about ass spread'age' insurance scam, what happens when all you consume is poptarts and schmirnoff ice? genetically destined to look like your mom? 'being in your 30's yet thinking you still pass for 22' reality syndrome, the 'moment in the gut, forever spreading the butt' diet fad, do men really care enough to even glance at your ass after the age of 21? -take the 'do I need a new ass' survey - see if your husband really thinks you are all that or is he just telling you what you need to hear in order to continue living in a peaceful surrounding???? - oh I could go on!
Yep - those should work - I'll hit the 'Im feeling lucky!' search! I should find something! Wish me luck!
VIEW 8 of 8 COMMENTS
on:
i hear yah sistr! throwing in the age factor doesnt seem to help. ive noticed that the older i get, the less ridiculous the idea of other people wanting surgery seems. when i was 15, i thought plastic surgery was fairly obscene notion. 11 years later....it doesnt sound like such a bad idea!
therevolutionary:
hott is me