So we walk into Kettels the other day and get the same old trip. Everyone's up in arms about how glad to see us they are, and how long it's been, and why don't we come in every week like we did 5 years ago. They are all the same. Same songs in the karaoke bin, same mullets, same jobs. Same crank-yellow loo with the unflushable urinals clogged with lung-cheese and cigarette filters.
So sorry we haven't been in for so long. Have we been remiss in our "bar Relationship" duties? Here, let me speak in smooth, patronizing tones that will make you feel like you're married to me. Let's keep our individual needs out of it. Maybe we should crank out a kid---that's always a great way to come together. Let's sit down and work out a diet that will allow us to get big & fat together.
Sorry we haven't been in. Don't you realize that countless conflicts can be avoided by walking out on your family for years at a time. We're already married. We wanted you to feel like family. You like?
So sorry we haven't been in for so long. Have we been remiss in our "bar Relationship" duties? Here, let me speak in smooth, patronizing tones that will make you feel like you're married to me. Let's keep our individual needs out of it. Maybe we should crank out a kid---that's always a great way to come together. Let's sit down and work out a diet that will allow us to get big & fat together.
Sorry we haven't been in. Don't you realize that countless conflicts can be avoided by walking out on your family for years at a time. We're already married. We wanted you to feel like family. You like?