As I was contemplating doing a blog post everyday it just hit me.... Why? I mean I guess its really cuz I don't have anyone to talk to really. I partially blame myself because I feel like I can't get close go anyone enough to share my feelings and pain with. Of course there is my best friend who I can talk about anything with but I mean I don't talk to him about my feelings haha but idk I feel like I'm complaining or whining when I do. Idk why. I feel like I can't get close to anyone on that level. Idk if its because of my past relationships or my gripping abandomemt issues but I feel nothing really. I mean I want to feel close to someone and feel loved and needed but I'm also kind of scared because I haven't felt that in so Long.... Most of my "romantic" endeavors have been really cut and dry. Its basically hey I like you do you like me? No? OK than see ya never. Idk why I do it. I'm just afraid really I don't want to feel like someone is the most important person to me because when they leave can I get threw it? Can I get threw it again? I know I've tried and have gotten through it before but idk... I feel as if I'm not going to find anyone. I feel as if its like the world telling me well you had your chance haha I'm trying to stay optimistic but it gets me when girls say they want a gentleman because I am a gentleman I'll play guitar for you. Write you songs of pure happiness. Treat you with the love and affection a person can give somone else. But I cant show you any of that if you don't give me the chance. That's another thing that gets me when people say don't take no for an answer haha I mean I'm not going to Bend over backwards or do stupid shit to ask someone out. If I like you I'll just talk to you haha if I want to ask you out I'll jus be honest and upfront. Basically I'll say why I like you and if you wanna go out sometime but that's not enough it apperently can't be so cut and dry. But why am I going to waste my and your time if your going to say no?
