mandees

I found this and wanted to post it:


AN OPEN LETTER TO
> >MR. JAMES THATCHER,
> >BRAND MANAGER,
> >PROCTER & GAMBLE.

> >Dear Mr. Thatcher,
> >
> >I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years,
> >and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard
> >Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback
> >riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up
> >and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has
> >to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company
> >smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be
> >aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month
> >knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
> >
> >Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from
> >"the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is
> >starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces
> >violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body
> >will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call
> >"an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
> >
> >As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen
> >quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers'
> >monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the
> >bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood
> >swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize
> >it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend
> >Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles
> >into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's
> >Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, Sir, you of
> >all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal
> >maniacs in capri pants.
> >
> >Which brings me to the reason for my letter.
> >
> >Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to
> >reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi
> >pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
> >"Have a Happy Period."
> >
> >Are you f**king kidding me?
> >
> >What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really
> >think happiness-actual smiling, laughing happiness-is possible during a
> >menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit
> >pleasurable?
> >Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak
> >girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you
> >have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahla and lock yourself in your
> >house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a
> >hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
> >For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap
> >a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say
> >something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or
> >"Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?
> >
> >Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective
> >immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have
> >chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will
> >certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your
> >brand of condescending bulls**t. And that's a promise I will keep.
> >Always.
> >
> >Best,
> >
> >Wendi Aarons
> >Austin, TX