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mandarin

SG Since 2004

Followers 394 Following 68

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Tuesday Feb 15, 2005

Feb 15, 2005
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*Being 21 is not all that different than being 20. Except I can go into bars. But I hate bars. This leads to the conclusion that being 21 just gives me more opportunities to do things that I hate to do anyway. Awesome.

*I spent most of last week, the week that I had taken off and planned to spend drunken and celebratory for my birthday, sick in bed. Yay for the flu/colds. All I know is it started out with a sore throat and super heaviness of my body. I'm still trying to battle it off. I got drunk once this week. And I was only a little drunk.

*The mountains were absolutely horrible. The hotel room had a giant gap at the bottom of the door and a ladybug infestation. At night, when everyone was drunk from the bar/nightclub downstairs (everyone but me) it sounded like there were 40 people sitting at the foot of my bed having stupid conversations. The mountain closed at 4pm, so there was no skiing to be had, as we weren't planning to ski til 3pm. The town was a shithole. I spent the whole weekend in bed reading magazines.

*Having drinks with my grandfather was fun, but would have been more fun if it had just been me and him and not my cousins and grandmother also. One day we will excitedly drink together.

*I got my new camera, and I guess it's ok. I am not entirely sure what to think of it yet. I haven't really had time to play with it as I'm always really busy. It looks nice though.

*This weekend I made a few really big discoveries about my life and who I do and don't want to be with. I've acknowledged that for the last year or so I've let my family (my mother especially) influence my decisions way too much. I have not been really happy in a relationship because I haven't actually been doing what I wanted to do. Or if I was doing what I wanted, I was too worried about what my family was going to say, that I wasn't doing it right. It took a 3 hour drive to Hunter, NY and a miserable weekend for me to final come to my senses. With the right person, it all could have been salvaged.

*I've also come to the conclusion that I really need to start writing. Writing and sending things out to publications. If I ever want an internship I need clippings, and if I don't start getting published, I'll never have clippings. The trouble arises in trying to figure out what to write. I don't even know where to begin, and that's a really terrible sign.

*Even though it's only February I'm beginning my apartment search. Just sort of checking things out to get an idea of what I'm looking at price wise. I'm also considering finding one roommate and a two bedroom apartment. I could handle living with one person and having my own room. It is living with 5 and having to share a room that is driving me nuts. Ideally I'd like to live alone, but I'm not sure how long I would be able to survive like that. I may get really lonely and reclusive. Or it may help me branch out because I can invite people over without feeling like I'm intruding on someone else's space. Regardless, I'm psyched.

*My new shampoo smells really good. I should take a shower.
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
jordanos:
the mysterious one speaks smile how bout some more bathroom theif pictures>?
Feb 16, 2005
roopie:
awhh! No no you have such lovely skin haha that sounds odd, like I love skin.. but you do.. tongue
and you're no way 80 times prettier than me. bok
xxxxxxxxxxx kisses kiss
Feb 21, 2005

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