mandalic

you know when you have something to look forward to and it makes you happy thinking about it? like say you have left over piece of cheesecake in your fridge you know you will eat at the end of the day, or next tuesday you're gonna go with your friends to a new club, orif your favorite show is coming on tv in an hour. and big things like getting married, or taking a trip around the world or buying a sports car.

and so you feel that anticipation and happiness and content for knowing that something good is coming up.

sometimes people have this same feeling just about life, having everything to look forward to. usually i feel this way, and what keeps me going most of the time is looking forward to those little things along the way and in between.

for some reason i don't have that feeling right now. i'm not depressed, in fact i'm strangely happy, but between knowing that i DO have things to look forward to and them actually registering and feeling like i do, something isn't working right.

i know what i have to look forward to, and those things make me happy, but my brain is making me feel like i don't have anything to look forward to, like it just doesn't feel like i do, even though i know i do.