manchester_black

I lost my hope today, can you help me find it?
It feels like my sould caught some sort of wasting disease and is falling apart in my hands. Things feel pretty desolate. I've had a lot of time alone, and with it have come a lot of questions for myself.
My work has me questioning how good will my life be if I keep going along this path? Do I stay at a shitty job with no future in it clinging to the hope that I'll get on my feet as an actor and that will be what supports me, or do I bow out gracefully and go to an office job, and try at the acting thing in my off time - it would be much more difficult to establish that way (if at all) but at least I'd know that I wouldn't be scrounging my money for the essentials like a starving rat. Even at an office job, I could still work on drawing and writing, and I would at least have a consistent enough schedule to build a social life around...
In that tricky little roundabout way, my lack of any sort of success in anything right now is really crushing my ego. I feel like hell pretty much every day. I'm becoming paralyzed with self doubt. I can't bring myself to do anything. Seeing your dreams fade right in front of your eyes is a very harrowing experience to say the least. For one of the first times, I don't know what I want to do.